Candace Derickx: See Mummy Juggle


Songs That Make You Cringe

The Vulgar Contest


A little while ago, I posted this on my Facebook page:

And it does.

Then yesterday in the car, she told me that she now indeed understands why I change the station in the car everytime it comes on.

"Do you know what that song is about, Mom?" she asked, with a horrified look on her face.

*sigh* "Yes, yes, I do."

I had to grip the steering wheel extra hard, in order to not go off the road, as she and my 8-year-old told me what they had learned at school that day. And there it is. Thank you, Flo Rida. My prepubescent daughters now have the 101 on the down-low, thanks to you.

To be fair, I asked them to tell me what they thought it was about. (Helpful tip moms—best to know if they really do know what it's about, before you offer up your explanation.) Heck, they could have thought it was really about whistling.

With lyrics like this, though:

"go girl you can work it
let me see your whistle while you work it
i’mma lay it back, don’t stop it
cause i love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it, on me
now, shorty let that whistle blow (ohohohoh)
yeah, baby let that whistle blow (ohohohoh)"

It's hard to think it's about anything else now, isn't it? It's vulgar. Catchy tune, but vulgar nonetheless. And it makes me wonder where it's all going to stop.

I've written about song lyrics before. I'm always genuinely surprised when the next shocking song comes out, even more appalling than the last. I think it just can't get any worse, and yet it does. Like this little gem, from Neon Hitch:

"She's prettier than I'll ever be
Got yourself a beauty queen, yeah
But there's one thing i gotta say
She can fuck you good, bet i can fuck you better"

Okily dokily, then. That pretty much covers it.

The topper for me, though, came when a friend sent me a link to this video, complete with lyrics, from Usher:


And then I laughed my ass off. So utterly frickin' ridiculous. Thankfully, I don't think this dud will make it to the Top 40.

These guys just don't know where to stop, do they?  So, here's a thought for musicians out there—write good music and it'll speak for itself. Nobody is winning the vulgar contest. Least of all our kids.