I was a bad dad today. A terrible, horrible, awful, not very good one. But sometimes you have to be, and it's awesome.
My son hates getting wet. Can't stand a splash on his sleeve or drop on his drawers. The moment he's damp, he's naked. I brought him to a radio promotion at a car dealership, my co-host brought her new puppy. My son played with the dog's water, spilled it on his shirt - and immediately stripped down faster than you can say fahrvergnugen.
So what do I do on our daddy date to the local amusement park? I take him on the log ride.
"I don't want to get wet, Daddy!" he whined while we waited in line. Each log would tip over the edge and cascade in a huge splash every 30 seconds.
"We won't get wet," I lied. "See how the water splashes OUTSIDE the log?"
He wasn't buying it, but the line moved fast enough that I could get him into a seat and past the point of no return. The first bump came and my jig was up.
"I DONT WANT TO BE WET!" he screamed. Thankfully, he kept his shirt on.
"I WANT OUT!" was his next demand as he clawed the side of the ride.
We tipped over the top edge and screamed toward the puddle at the bottom - and got soaked.
Oh, he was not happy. Bawling, screaming, wailing like I had beaten him the entire 45 seconds of our trip on the water.
I immediately raced to the photo booth at the end of the ride and forked over $9 for the picture. A ridiculous amount, but when you're a bad dad you've got to pay your penance to have the moment captured forever.
I was a bad dad today. And it was the best day ever. I've got the pictures to prove it.
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