Our oldest son is almost eleven, and just finished the fifth grade. We live in a small, family-friendly town, so he hasn't been exposed to as much as kids in the big city might be. In the past year of school, his circle of friends went from boys only to a mix of guys and girls. He even has his first (Gasp!) crush. Her mom is a good friend of mine and I love the girl. He's got good taste.
I asked him what it means that he "liked her" and the conversation went like this:
Him: "I think she's nice and smart and cute and I like to hang out with her."
Me: "Do you want to kiss her?"
Him, scrunching his face: "Ew! NO. I'm not kissing any girls until I'm fifteen."
(Here's hoping.)
He knows the basics of how babies are made and towards the end of his school year they had a couple of classes called Family Life. They talked about hormones and body changes and hair growing ... in certain places, etc. After the first class, he was telling me about it as we walked to our truck after school. He told me that they'd been given a list of questions to discuss with their parents. Hoo boy.
I brought this up at dinner that night and we talked about it as a family. There was no harm — I believe — in his younger brother and sister being part of the Q&A period. We had a great chat and had some laughs, too.
My son: "What was the best part about body changes as a teenager?"
Me: "I got boobs."
My son: "What was the worst part about body changes as a teenager?"
My husband: "Girls got boobs."
We kept the chat pretty light, and the next night my husband took my two boys out 4x4-ing and talked about things in more detail. Our second son is only twenty months younger than our first son, and the ladies love him, so it was good that he was part of that chat.
My husband also plans to take each of the boys on either a hike or an overnight camping trip to have a one-on-one chat with them and give them the opportunity to ask questions and discuss what they're thinking about as the hormones ramp up. I'll do the same when my daughter's a couple of years older, as she's not quite seven.
I like this approach as opposed to how it went down when I was growing up. I had learned about the "birds and the bees" via a friend who showed me with Barbie and Ken, back when I was six or so, but it was pretty vague. When I was eleven, I got my period. I called for my mom and when she entered the bathroom and said, "Is that from you?" Then she took me for lunch and told me that boys would try to "get in my pants," etc., and it was completely mortifying.
When did you talk to your kids about the "birds and the bees"? Do you have any insights to share?
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