Andrea Loewen Nair: Connect-Four Parenting


A to Z of Taming Tantrums: B is for Buckets!

B is for Buckets - and how they can reduce tantrums.

A to Z Taming Tantrums Video Series Andrea Nair

Hi! Welcome to the second episode in the parenting video series: "A to Z of Taming Tantrums."  Today’s episode is about the letter B, and B is for Buckets!

What are buckets?

They are metaphorical containers that represent our major needs. I find it easier to attend to my children’s needs when I picture that they have some buckets or tanks inside of them, each one representing an essential part of being.

When our children have low or empty buckets, they don’t usually have the words to explain how they are feeling to us, and use negative behaviour to do this. Our children can become quite frustrated and angry when they don’t feel attended to, loved, important, heard, or capable.

In this video, I explain what the A.L.I.V.E. buckets are and what parents can do to fill those. It's really amazing how differently people behave when the important people in their lives fill their buckets. "Bucket-filling" isn't just for our children. Our partners, co-workers, friends, and family members will respond positively to bucket filling, too.

If you would like to read more about this topic, I recommend reading this article where I explain the A.L.I.V.E tanks in more detail.  Bucket or "tank" filling is one of the four cornerstones of my Connect Four Parenting, and I dedicated a whole section of my book to this topic. Please click here for more information about my eBook, Taming Tantrums: A Connect Four Parenting Approach To Raising Cooperative Toddlers.

Talking with our children about filling buckets is a wonderful way to teach them how their actions affect other people. I recommend reading the lovely book, How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer with your children to get them thinking how they can fill buckets, too. 

We're so excited to share with you the A to Z of Taming Tantrums video series! 

Each week we'll share the next letter of the alphabet and Andrea will discuss how it relates to reducing tantrums - and improve our experience as parents! You can view each video here as they are added each Friday.