Andrea Loewen Nair: Connect-Four Parenting


A to Z of Taming Tantrums: A is for Attention!

How does "attention" reduce tantrums? I explain that in our new video series.

Andrea Nair A to Z Taming Tantrums Video Series |

Welcome to the first video of our A to Z of Taming Tantrums video series. This video is about the letter A, and A is for Attention.

Are you wondering how attention has an impact on reducing tantrums? I believe that filling our children with the attention they need is a preventative tantrum strategy. When children don't feel they have enough of us -- enough of our undivided focus, they can use negative behaviour to try to get that attention from us.

It is actually a myth that you can spoil a child with attention! We know that our children feel they've had enough when they walk away from us with confidence. According to Gordon Neufeld, PhD, filling our children with the attention they desire gives them the foundation to step away and explore the world. Our kids know they can be themselves, try things, be curious, and come back when they feel they need to check back in with the ones who care for them.

I believe that filling a child with attention, filling his or her “attention tank or bucket,” gives them a launching and recharging pad to leave from and return to as needed.

This doesn’t mean we need to give all of ourselves to our children all day long: that would wear us completely out! In this video, I talk about how providing attention helps to reduce tantrums, and how to deliver that without draining ourselves.

If you are interested in reading more about this topic, I invite you to look at the post about Filling Our Children’s Attachment Tank. Filling a child’s attention or attachment tank is so important, that it is actually one of my four pillars of Connect Four Parenting. I did write a whole section about it in my eBook called, Taming Tantrums: A Connect Four Parenting Approach to Raising Cooperative Toddlers.

Do you have any questions about providing attention to our children? I’d love to hear those: please do leave a comment under the YouTube video, and I’ll respond there.

The next letter in the video series is B, and B is for Buckets! Click here to subscribe to this YouTube series.

I'm getting the photos for the post by rapid-firing my screen shot buttons on my computer. The pictures I get are often hilarious! This one made me laugh so much (I really should have used this as the header image). 

We're so excited to share with you the A to Z of Taming Tantrums video series! 

Each week we'll share the next letter of the alphabet and Andrea will discuss how it relates to reducing tantrums - and improve our experience as parents! You can view each video here as they are added each Friday.