In my mind, the idea of JORTS was always one that brought nothing but NoNoNos from me. They reminded me of my camp counselors from 1993, back in the days of oversized flannel and colored socks and Doc Martens. They reminded me of the dudes we’d meet at gas stations on family road trips; the ones who didn’t have any teeth and smelled like BenGay and beer. They reminded me of all of those angsty werewolves from Twilight. They reminded me of Joey Gladstone, back when he had his mullet and his rugby shirts. They reminded me of Ponyboy Curtis and Two-Bit Matthews and all of the other Outsiders.
They certainly never reminded me of
well
me.
I mean, I used to exclusively follow these instructions about when it’s okay to wear jorts.
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I used to typically regard jorts as being lazy, sloppy, and unsophisticated. Only there I was...asking the good people of the internet…
Most people were NOT getting behind this idea. On the scale of 1 being the worst and 10 being the best, most people were at about a negative 87.
But here’s the rub.
My jorts are not acid-washed. This is rule #1.
My jorts do not expose any part of either of my ass cheeks. And you cannot see any pockets from the inside. This is rule #2.
My jorts are not combined with any bandanas or cowboy hats or, well, frankly and of these shenanigans. This is rule #3.
So what if they are technically jean shorts? So what if they aren’t exactly technically hemmed at the bottom?
I love them. That’s right, kids. My name is Ali…and I am a JORTS-wearer. (But so is she.)
Wanna become a jorts-wearer too? Here are some great tips!
Wear jorts with a structured jacket and white button-down shirt.
Go knee-length!
Wear them in a bold and bright summer color with a crisp white t-shirt and a great pair of sandals.
The right accessories will help un-sloppify your cut-off jean shorts. Heels, belts, bags, sunglasses.
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