The season of looooove will soon be upon us, which means we will soon be upon our loved ones. Or liked ones. Or ones that'll do because Valentine's Day is a crappy day to spend single (unless you're having a wicked fun Galentine's Day in which case you go, girl!).
Anyhow.
Turns out, those tingles you're feeling on the day of love might not be Cupid's work, but may actually be your immune system attacking itself. So before you slip onto someone a little more comfortable, and end up suffering through a hunka-hunka-burnin' love, let me warn you about some super un-sexy allergies you might experience on Valentine's Day:
Yup, guys, it's a thing. She might be allergic to your sperm. Sorry. Also known as "seminal plasma hypersensitivity," this rare but serious allergy can cause itching, burning, swelling, hives, and even anaphylaxis. But it turns out that the best cure seems to be more exposure (under the supervision of your doctor, ugh and ew!) so relief (in all forms) may be on the horizon after all. Bottom (heh) line: use a condom and just save everyone a whole lot of hassle.
Despite being an ingredient in some super fun products (rubber gloves, balloons, condoms and sex toys), latex is a tricky bedfellow, causing allergies in about 3 million Americans. (Sorry, Canadians, not much data on you lovebirds.) Latex can cause itching, burning, swelling (of the not-fun kind) and more, so if you like your sex to be a fun experience, be aware of the possible side-effects. There are polurethane alternatives that are apparently much easier to put on in "awkward situations," so I guess that's a silver lining?
Rashes from lubricants, lotions, and sex toys are pretty common, according to Dr. Google. And how unsexy is a raging rash?
To start, as I always suggest with allergy-related stuff, read the labels. Make sure that you know the ingredients of whatever you're slathering on or inserting in your tingly bits. We want those tingles to be from love, not allergies, remember? Look for sex toys that are either 100% silicone, or natural rubber, or even glass. (Many sex toys contain phthalates, which is pretty toxic stuff, so depending on how often you're riding that plastic pony, you may want to be aware of that and seek out something safer.) Nonoxynol-9 (a common ingredient in a lot of lubes) is to blame for a lot of itchy nether regions, so read the packaging of condoms and lubricants to avoid that one if you can. There are lots of other options to work around the latex and lube allergies. The lotions that promise tingles and heat can bring itching and burning along, too, so sometimes ditching the extra features is a good idea.
You knew I'd mention this one, right? Food allergies are a real threat on Valentine's Day, when we're all excited to lick the chocolate off a... strawberry, and drip melted chocolate on our partner's... oh, sorry, I got away from myself there for a moment. Ahem.
Before you bring your beloved a box of chocolates, make sure you're aware of any allergies. All the foods of love (oysters, lobster, chocolate) can cause fatal allergic reactions, so make sure you know what you're working with before you plate that delicacy. Nothing ruins romance quite like an anaphylactic reaction, amiright? Also, if you're planning on a makeout sesh with someone with food allergies, avoid their allergen(s) for 24 hours prior to your date. Although lips swell when aroused, some swelling is totally unwelcome. Even a small amount of an allergen can cause a very serious reaction.
However you're planning to spend it, I hope your Valentine's Day is full of love. Safe love. Safety is sexy, after all.
RELATED: 8 Strange But Real Allergies
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