You know how I came to write this blog, and why speaking about allergies is so important to me. You know that my son (and millions of other people) can die from ingesting an allergen. You may read this blog because you deal with allergies in your family, or maybe you read it because you're just a kind, sympathetic person. Or maybe you read it because you're pissed off about all those nasty, inconvenient food bans in schools. Whatever the reason, you're reading the words I'm writing, and these words represent the life I live every single day.
This isn't a blog of curated articles from other sources. Each and every single post I write is because I'm personally invested in this knowledge.
Seeing my son's face swell, and his eyes turn blood red was terrifying. Seeing his tiny body strapped into an ambulance was horrible. Of course, there are worse things. There are always worse things. But that doesn't negate our frustrations.
Giving my son a jab of epinephrine to his little fat thigh was terrifying. Wondering if he'd survive his first solo playdate was worrisome. Educating others about how serious allergies can be is exhausting. I have been dealing with his food allergies for nearly six solid years, and writing about them on this blog for just over two years now.
I'm so sick of talking about allergies.
I'm sick of reading about allergies, and I'm tired of repeating the same things over and over. I'm sick of the comments. I'm sick of Googling things, and telling people to rely on their doctor for medical advice. I'm sick of explaining myself. I'm sick of the people in the allergy community who see my (relatively) non-alarmist approach as a threat to their over-the-top approach to "protecting" their kids. I'm sick of treading the line between allowing my son to be a kid, and worrying constantly that he may die.
I'm just so tired of all of it, and I would like to trade these stupid allergies, this idiotic asthma, this inconvenient, never-ending worry in for a regular life now, please.
I want to take my son wherever we want to go without worrying he'll contact an allergen and die. I want to travel freely with my kids. I want to send my son out into the world and not worry about his next bite of food, or next breath of air, or his heart stopping. I want to not obsessively read every food label. I want to be confident. I want to be free.
I don't want to be the one to constantly nag the world about how to take care of those with allergies. I don't want people to think I'm a hovering helicopter parent, constantly over-protecting or bubble-wrapping my son, just because they don't understand.
I'm tired of convincing people the things they think about allergies are wrong. I'm sick of the nasty, horrible, insensitive people who say things like, "If a peanut can kill you, maybe you're meant to die" as though my son's life is less important than their child's food preference.
I don't want to write these articles anymore.
But you know what?
That isn't going to stop me. I'll keep reading the research, I'll keep talking, I'll keep defending and educating.
Because of the comments I get on the Yummy Mummy Club facebook page from readers who appreciate these posts. Because of all the people who have told me that thanks to my posts, they've learned something about allergies and become more sensitive to those who deal with them. Because of the many emails I get from allergy parents seeking support or advice. Because I know that being the sane voice in this crazy world is important.
Because if not me, who?