I've got a little experience with Valentine's Day. From hand-written love letters cut into heart shapes to thoughtful gifts, homecooked meals and sexy lingerie - I've done (and received) them all.
When trying to decide what to talk about on my next local TV appearance, I was researching Valentine's gifts, and wanted to have some truly unique ideas to throw out there. Women are easy. I mean . . . easy to shop for. I'm not making any judgments about how easy easy you all are. But honestly. The vast majority of women want a romantic card, something thoughtful, it's not that difficult to decode our desires, guys.
But men? What do men really want for Valentine's Day? I took to the streets (Twitter and Facebook) to find out.
My friend Peter says, "Men want different things. We are all different. Find out what makes him happy and give him that." Awww.
My friend Cory says, "I'm in my first relationship, and I'm 40. I was just never really interested in being in one. But you know, that one person walks into your life and something says, "Yeah, this is it." So this will be my first Valentine's Day ever. All I want is to spend time with her. I have a pretty low budget lifestyle. I'm incredibly easy to please. But I also want to give her everything she desires. So I'll be taking her to Niagara Falls for a weekend." MAJOR AWWWW!
And the rest of the entire male population around the entire globe says . . .
BLOW JOBS.
So ladies, when you ask and he says, "Oh, just time with you, baby," he's really saying, "Blow job".
Tips and Tricks To Give Him the Best Blow Job Ever
When he says, "Maybe a new fishing rod?" he is actually saying, "Blow job."
And when he says, "Just to see you smile" he's really saying, "Blow job."
There. Done. You're welcome, ladies and gents; I've said what you're uncomfortable saying.
(Mom, I'm sorry you read my blog. Please don't share it with the rest of the family this time.)
Photo source: Flickr Creative Commons
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