There are certain things you usually don't talk about - on social media or otherwise. And one of those is Mr Hanky.
What goes on in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom. At least it maybe it should?
Not so for a 19-year-old Torontonian, whose epic "number two" story went viral after she overshared on Twitter.
Picture it. You're on a first date with a guy at his place. It's going swimmingly until you need the bathroom.
You can't hold it. You can't wait. So you relieve yourself, but the toilet won't flush.
What's a girl to do with the deposit? Well, if you're Makela, aka “@_blotty” (whose full identity will no doubt be exposed in a matter of time) you mummify that thing in toilet paper and pop the poop in your purse for safekeeping.
Then you calmly return to kissing your date on the couch, of course.
But the story doesn't stop there.
Makela texted an SOS to her sister. She made return visits to the bathroom and repeat attempts to flush.
By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
What you don't expect is to become an overnight Twitter celebrity, with people hailing you a hero and asking for your autograph.
Although Makela seemed to be okay with the attention - whipping off a request to be a guest on Ellen and setting up a Pay Pal purse fund - she insists she's not sh*tting anyone.
“I didn’t make it up. If I wanted to do something for attention I wouldn’t pick something SO embarrassing.”
Incredibly, her date isn't a big social media user, and so far appears oblivious to her new found notoriety.
“Poop story aside, I’m like, I don’t know if I want to see him again,” said Makela, though she's had many messages from men clogging her inbox, saying her she "can poop in their house.”
Who knows, maybe she'll find herself a nice plumber, and they'll live happily ever after in a house with the clearest pipes going.
It may be the kid staple of outdoor fairs, yet a bouncy castle was to blame for the recent death of a seven year-old girl in England.
For some reason Summer Grant was the only child inside the inflatable when high winds pulled out he ground stakes and carried the castle 150 metres across Essex's Harlow Town Park. The girl suffered multiple injuries and later died in hospital.
Two employees of the inflatables company have since been arrested and charged with gross negligence.
Safety experts warn that inflatables should not be erected when gusts exceed "Force 5 on the Beaufort scale." And police are currently conducting a lengthy investigation into the weather and ground conditions that day.
Sadly, it's not the first time inflatables have become untethered and airborne. It's not even the first time there has been an incident at this particular fair. Last year, a castle at the same location collapsed with children inside.
Clearly this tragedy is not a freak accident, but a big red flag alerting us all to the need for more stringent regulations on outdoor inflatables.
While I don't think the answer is a blanket ban on bouncy castles, fun should never have to come at the expense of safety.
As a mom, this story has lodged in my memory. The next time my son begs to bounce at a summertime fair, I admit I will think twice.
Our thoughts go out to Summer's family. Losing a child this way is devastating and unfathomable.
Easter... isn't it sweet - what with Spring in the air and bunnies hopping everywhere? Not so much in Connecticut, where a mass hunt organized by PEZ was called off thanks to a few rotten eggs.
For the third year running, the candy company planted some 9,000 treats in fields for children to find. Organizers sensibly separated the hunts according to age group, so that wee ones wouldn't be competing with older kids for the free goodies.
The hunts were to end with a visit from the big bunny himself. So far, so sugary sweet.
Except the day never got that far. The hunt ended in disappointment after a few bad eggs - aka parents - stormed the field prematurely, elbowing children as young as four out of the way.
"When it came time, at like 10:30 a.m., the parents just bum-rushed that area," said resident Nicole Welch. "When my son left, he had a broken basket, and he was hysterically crying."
PEZ staff responded to the situation, handing out coupons and promising to compensate those who hadn't received any candy.
And disgruntled parents like Susan Kristie Nadori DeRose took to the company's Facebook page to voice complaints. "We have a three year-old. The parents first of all were letting their uncontrolled children pick up eggs prior to the start. Then when the event started all the parents rushed in and we're picking up the eggs."
But that's hardly the fault of PEZ now, is it? I wouldn't be at all be surprised if this was the third and final hunt. Clearly no one can have nice things when grown ups can't act their age.
No arrests were made, no injuries sustained. Still, the Easter debacle speaks volumes about the kind of world we live in when adults turn to savages over a few candy eggs.
And people talk of kids these days being greedy and entitled.