My husband and I planned on having a large family, but two seems to be the magic number for us. So, we're DONE. That sounds pretty final doesn't it? The only word with a stronger ring of finality is the V word. Yes, vasectomy (any men reading this just crossed their legs and audibly groaned in unison.)
Listen boys, we know you don't have our threshold for pain. It's not your fault. You weren't programmed for painful life events like menstrual cramps, childbirth, breastfeeding, waxing, plucking and piercing. So when faced with the prospect of someone nipping at your nethers well, we understand your trepidation. But if you ever want to have sex again...
My loving spouse was slow to seek out a doctor to do the snip. I kindly suggested he get on it or I'd ask my sister in law, a veterinarian, to do the procedure. Or there was this DIY option.
That seemed to get him moving. It's not that we don't empathize. We do, but the four-page booklet you came home with to prepare for your "surgery" was a bit much.
"Be sure to have somebody home to care for you in case you need something. Make sure you have frozen peas in the freezer. Stock up on DVDs to keep you entertained while you recover. You will be prescribed Tylenol 3s to manage your pain."
Really? I didn't even take drugs after I birthed our children and my lowers resembled a bloody war zone. As for the DVDs, I do apologize for suggesting Edward Scissorhands but Spaceballs and Meatballs were good choices, no? And you should have checked the freezer. I had no idea we were out of peas. The frozen corn (now forever known as "Crotch Corn") seemed to work.
So what does one serve to a man scheduled for a vasectomy for his last supper? Here are a few suggestions:
Creamy Pea Soup Source
Nutty Cheese Log Source
Cocktail Weiners (size doesn't matter) Source
Saucy Meatballs Source
Mini Corn Dogs With Sauce On The Side Source
Weenie Tips On A Stick Source
Saucy Beef Balls (toothpicks optional) Source
Deep Fried Pickles With Creamy Dipping Sauce Source
And of course, something sweet... Source
Frozen Bananas Source
And of course, these. What ARE these anyway?! #Alarming
*Warming: wieners pose a choking hazard so be sure to chew well and swallow slowly.
Happy dining everyone!
Why would you go to the trouble? Why not? Every moment in life (even your partner's vasectomy) is a reason to celebrate so get creative and make his last supper a ball!
Check out this link and I'll show you how to fold a napkin into a......you know. (Not a swan)
I've made sangria from scratch with all kinds of fancy ingredients and it's goooooooood. But really, who has the time? So hang onto your melons, here's how to make the most delicious (and potent, so be careful!), quick and easy Melon Sangria!
You'll need.... Boones, or any brand of bottled Sangria (you can usually find it in the chilled section of the liquor store where they have the coolers. Boones is a whopping $6.40), your favourite white wine, ginger ale, OJ, watermelon and oranges slices, grapes and melon liqueur (optional).
Note: I forgot to include the melon liqueur in the photo below. And the grapes. And the orange slices. I'm a horrid photographer, but I make really good sangria, so does it really matter?