20140715

We have two new additions to our household - Hammy and Cinnamon, two very cute, fluffy, fat-bottomed teddy bear hamsters which I’ve since renamed to “What The Hell Was I Thinking” and “I’m Pretty Sure You’re Satan”.

For months Son No. 2 was begging me to get a hamster and for months I tried to convince him that a pet rat would be a better choice.

No, seriously.

Rats - Not cute, but very smart and social. Not likely to bite.
Hamsters – very cute but totally bite. Am getting tetnus shot this week.

Anyway, his reaction was pretty much the same as yours so he wasn’t buying into the whole rat equation, even after I made him watch Ratatouille again.

Long story short, Santa decided to get Son No. 2 all the equipment he would need to take care of a cute, “It’s so fluffy I want to die!” hamster. That way Son No. 2 would be able to pick out the hamster he wanted on Boxing Day because anyone who knows the sh*t that happens in my life knows if Santa had also decided to give a live hamster for Christmas, Son No. 2 would have opened his present to find a dead hamster – and Santa wasn’t taking that chance. Santa knows there are certain things that will scar a child and opening a gift with a dead animal on Christmas morning pretty much makes the Top Ten.

Only a few weeks before Christmas Son No. 2 decided he no longer wants a hamster and he’d rather just get a goldfish again. So to say Santa was a LITTLE EXASPERATED is a bit of an understatement especially since Santa had already “made”, wrapped and hidden the hamster stuff away for Christmas morning because for once Santa was really on top of it and had gotten all the present making done by the first of December. Not to mention that a hamster cage, food, bedding and accessories are heavy and had to be lugged a long way through a very large and crowded workshop to the sleigh and there were a lot of elves out that day who walked really really slowly and totally didn’t know how to drive and pretty much made Santa drink a full bottle of wine when he got home.

I then spent the next couple of weeks trying to convince Son No. 2 that he still wanted a hamster. Only he was no longer buying into that now either. Turns out I should never have mentioned hamsters and biting.

Ya…..welcome to my life.

But lo and behold, Christmas morning comes, Son No. 2 opens the hamster cage and is through the roof with excitement so the next day we go out and by little Hammy.

FYI: Hamsters are nocturnal and the little f*ckers never sleep. More on that to come.

Now you may be thinking But how did you end up with two hamsters, Sharon? Well Son No. 2 sees cute little fluffy Hammy and is all "he's so cute and fluffy, I wish I had a hamster"….you can see where this is going, right?

But I’m nothing if not brilliant and I tell Son No. 1 if he wants to use his Christmas money to buy ALL THE STUFF it takes to care for a hamster he can get one, emphasizing the large amount of money it requires to care for a hamster. Typically Son No. 1 is very cheap and likes to hoard money so I’m feeling pretty confident he won’t take me up on the offer.

Wrong again Mommy Dearest.

And that’s how we got Cinnamon.

And yes, the cat is pretty much going ape shit.

Coming Tomorrow: I'm pretty sure Cinnamon is Satan and is plotting my death.