A Valentine's Day Convert

February 07, 2010

I read EarnestGirl’s blog about her dislike of Valentine’s Day nodding my head in agreement. 

Yes, it is a big money grab, I thought.  I shook my head even more vigorously as she lamented about kids’ Valentine’s cards and being made to give one to every classmate – no matter what.

Then sighing, I pushed my chair away from my desk and headed to the store to buy Valentine’s cards for my kids to give out – Hot Wheels – the perfect representation of friendship and love.

A few days later, I was home with Son No. 2 and he announced he was boooooooooooooored.  There’s nothing to do Mummy.  A foot stomp to emphasize how difficult his life was.

"Why don’t we write out your Valentine’s Day cards to your friends?" I asked.

The foot that was raised mid-air to stomp again was slowly lowered, his scowl turned into a smile and he happily agreed.

We sat down at the table with a list of names and he began to write.

As he wrote the names of his classmates on the back of the brightly coloured, perforated cards, giggling at the silly sentiments – Racing By with a Valentine “Hi” and Have a Wheely Great Valentine’s Day – he started talking about his friends at school.

That’s “J”, he said.  We build towers at the Lego centre.  He always makes me laugh.  Or “B” is my best friend in the whole world, I want to do a really neat job printing his name. 

His face lit up as he talked about each one, telling me stories of school I had never heard. 

About five cards in, we got to the name of someone he had problems with in the class previously.  “Do you want to give him a card too?” I asked knowing he would have to anyway and, to be completely honest, feeling a little resentful he would. 

He thought for a moment and said “Yes, mummy”.  Curious, I asked why.

He turned his big brown eyes on me and said “Because he would be sad if he didn’t get one Mummy and Valentine’s Day should be happy.”

And he was right.  I think back to Valentine’s Day when I was a child and my memories are all happy.  Choosing the perfect Valentine’s card for each friend, the pride I felt printing the names neatly, the fun we had in art class making construction paper folders to hang off the edge of our desks and taking the cards home and going through each one, giggling at the same silly sentiments my son was giggling at only moments ago.  But it wasn’t happy for everyone.  There were the kids who only got a few cards or worse…none at all. 

So maybe the hypocrisy isn’t giving a card to every child in the classroom no matter what.  Maybe the hypocrisy is us teaching our children to be kind and forgiving while we still hold a grudge.

Yes, it’s commercial and yes, it’s easy to become disillusioned. But the $3.00 I spent on my son’s cards gave me the opportunity to see Valentine’s Day through his eyes.  And it’s a happy, loving place.
 

Who Inspires You?

January 29, 2010

*Bing*  It’s my email letting me know I have new mail.  I scroll through and click on the one from Erica that I’ve been waiting for. My stomach drops as I start to read.

 

“What you’ve written is okay but it’s missing something.  It could be crisper, maybe less wordy.”

 

Sighing, my shoulders drop and I pinch the top of my nose between my forefinger and thumb.  I’m frustrated and irritated - but not with Erica like you’d think. With myself.

 

Because she’s right, it could be better.

 

So why am I telling you this?

 

I received an email a few weeks back and loved this idea so much, immediately knew I wanted to be a part of it and help spread the word.

 

dermaglow® has launched the “She Inspires Me: Inspirational Mothers & Mentors Search”.  dermaglow® wants to celebrate inspirational women so they’ve created a contest where you’ll have a chance to show your mother or other inspirational woman in your life how her accomplishments have helped shape you and how her actions haven’t gone unnoticed. 

 

And the contest isn’t just choosing an inspirational woman. dermaglow® wants to reward the people who take the time to submit stories and vote.  During the two month campaign select prizes will be given away to those who vote or who have uploaded stories.  As an added incentive each nomination also generates discount coupons redeemable for dermaglow® products at participating locations.

 

I'm lucky to be surrounded by strong, intelligent, fun, passionate women. But it made it difficult to choose who to write about. Originally, I was going to write about my mother who, from birth, helped shape me into the person I am today. My mother was kind, intelligent and possessed a sense of humour I’m glad was passed on to me.  She died in 2001 and yet continues to shape me each day through her love, the lessons she taught and the memories I keep alive and cherish.  She inspires me every day to look at life with a sense of humour, to remember it’s the little things that count, to always do my best and to be the best person I can be. 

 

Plus, if she were still alive, she’d totally kick my ass if I didn’t.

 

And if you knew my mom, you’re laughing out loud because you know it’s the truth.

 

I love her and miss her every day.

 

But today, my unofficial entry into the She Inspires Me: Inspirational Mothers and Mentors Search is Erica Ehm.

 

Because a couple of years ago, Erica took a chance on me.  And by doing that, she opened up a whole side of myself I didn’t know. 

 

Two years ago, I was a stay at home mother and struggling blogger. Today I help run a website with Erica – we have meetings, collaborate, exchange ideas, and strive each day to make the Yummy Mummy Club better and better.  She is my business mentor, my writing mentor, my creative mentor, my flying by the seat of my pants mentor and most importantly, my friend. 

 

My mother taught me being patient with your children is important and to allow them to figure things out for themselves, offering guidance when needed. From day one, Erica threw things my way and expected them to be done to the best of my ability, and most days I did (thanks mom!) but on the occasions when I completely messed it up, she never had a harsh word.  She would give me another chance or we would try to figure out whatever I had screwed up together.  Now today, when I’m teaching someone a new job, I strive to do the same thing.

 

Erica taught me that patience in the workplace is important too.

 

When Erica started throwing writing jobs my way, she would critique them for me – often I would receive feedback like too wordy, cut it down, you said the same thing twice.

 

She was right. Erica taught me to be a more concise writer.  I’m better for it.

 

Erica sometimes throws me into situations that make me uncomfortable.  A year ago at a book launch she was hosting, she suddenly called me up on stage.  I walked up, my heart racing, face turning a bright shade of red and as I spoke in front of the audience, my voice cracked and I stuttered.  A few weeks later at another event, she called me up in front of an audience again.  This time, as I made my way to the front, my heart was still racing but there was no redness, the stutter was under control and I was even able to crack a joke. 

 

Erica taught me that I too can fly by the seat of my pants and if the flying doesn’t come naturally, you can learn it through experience.

 

When we were updating the Yummy Mummy Club website, Erica included me in the meetings and on conference calls.  I was quiet throughout.  She said to me one day “Where’s the Sharon I know?  Why aren’t you saying anything?”  I explained I felt like a fish out of water and was embarrassed to speak up because I thought I would sound stupid.  In a no-nonsense, direct manner, she let me know exactly what she thought of that.  I started opening my mouth.

 

Erica taught me that what I have to say is worth listening to and I should always trust my instincts.

 

Life at the Yummy Mummy Club is not always smooth sailing. There have been times when Erica and I have disagreed and argued.  Yet she always listened with an open mind and never hesitated to concede if she felt I had a point.  Any arguments we’ve had have been over in moments.

 

Erica taught me that if you are passionate about something, you need to fight for it.  Even if it means disagreeing with someone you admire. And that grudges don’t have any place in business...or life.

 

Erica has taught me more lessons than I can put into one blog.  But the most important lesson she ever taught me was it’s not only possible to have a business and a friendship, having that friendship makes the business better.

 

Erica inspires me.

 

Who inspires you?

 

dermaglow® wants to give you the chance to tell the world.  Go to www.sheinspiresme.ca to submit your story about a person who has touched your life and made a difference.