Your feet are ugly. Yes, I’m talking to you.
You - with the chipped or grown-out polish, uneven nails, fungus (gag), and hairy toes (eww). You know who you are! Don’t get mad that I am calling you out! You’re the one that chose to wear sandals when you had absolutely no right to do so.
I’ve lately started taking snapshots of “foot offenders” like you… I see you on the TTC, window shopping, or lunching on a patio with friends. It is truly astounding how some of you leave the house!
Let’s start with chipped nail polish… major pet peeve of mine. There is no acceptable reason for this – ever (unless you are Britney Spears and have just been checked into the hospital… against your will). Chipped nail polish just screams I DON’T CARE. If you can’t commit to taking care of your polish, don’t apply it - it’s that simple.
Second, anyone who says they don’t have hair on their feet is a liar… or the luckiest girl in the world. We all have it, and must remove it… however we prefer: wax, shave, laser, or pluck it… whatever… just get rid of it! There is nothing worse than looking down and seeing a hairy toe… and trust me: people (like me) look!
I was getting a massage last week and while lying face down, couldn’t help but notice the patch of black curlies adorning the masseuse’s big toe! My massage was ruined, and any chance at relaxation shot, because the only thing on my mind was, “How could she leave the house like that?!”
This next little part might draw some anger from the running community… but I don’t really care. Just because you can run a marathon doesn’t mean you are exempt from taking care of your feet. I say: after that marathon, run on over to your neighborhood spa and treat yourself to a pedi… after all, you deserve it! I treat myself to pedis for achieving far less admirable goals! Because, despite your athletic prowess, no one wants to see your cracked, bruised toenails. So, apply a couple coats of a dark colour and you are good to go!
I broke my toe last year, and it would have looked awful, but thanks to OPI’s Lincoln Park After Dark… no one was the wiser!
Taking care of your feet requires little to no money, and a small time investment. Not everyone has the budget for a professional pedicure, but we all can afford to spend a little time maintaining our feet.
To keep your feet in “sandal-ready” condition try the following:
Set aside a pair of white athletic socks.
Massage your feet with petroleum jelly (i.e. Vaseline) and put the socks on.
If you can, sleep with the socks on, if you can’t, keep them at least an hour.
Repeat (daily, if needed, if just maintaining: twice a week!).
Outside of the above “bare minimum”, if your heels start to feel rough, take half an hour and give them a good soak in warm water and use a foot file or pumice stone to smooth them out, and apply petroleum jelly, which is readily available, has a million uses and will suit every Recessionista’s budget! This will leave your feet super soft… promise!
If you aren’t into polish upkeep, try filing your nail edges into a rounded-square shape, and applying a shiny clear coat - your feet will instantly look clean and tidy!
Soak, file, moisturize… repeat! Only then, are your feet ready for sandals – agreed?
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