November 12, 2008

After writing My Moment of Honesty last week, I received emails and comments from mothers thanking me for sharing my bad days and then, much to my surprise, they opened up and shared theirs with me. I feel honoured and priveleged that these women would reveal their inner-most feelings with me and it’s obvious that there is a need for us to communicate our experiences on motherhood.  I could almost hear the collective sigh of relief as these women opened up and said “thank god it’s not just me”. I really do believe we will be better mothers if we share the experiences we have with our children. Not only the good they change your life forever moments but also the bad they change your life forever moments. 

I am by no means a perfect parent. Like you, I just try to do my best each and every day.  I have my bad moments, my tearful moments where I’ve put my boys to bed, found a quiet corner and cried silently. Because on that particular day there were more bad moments than good. The days where there was more yelling than laughing, more irritation at the muddy footprints on the floor than excitement at the seed they had secretly scooped from their apple and planted in the garden in hopes of growing a tree. And after I cry, I pick myself up and try my best again the next day. Just like you.

So I try to write about that. And maybe that comes across that I don’t like being a mother or that I’m focussing on the negative or just doing alot of plain ol' bitching.  But that’s far from the truth. I love being a mother, even when I’m in the midst of a “what am I doing, oh my god, I suck at this parenting thing” moment, I still love it with every ounce of my being.

One of the biggest things I struggle with is how much I should share on my blog. If it’s writing about me alone, then I will strip down to my soul and bare it all.  But there are other people who are involved in my world and that’s where I have a difficult time. How much should I tell and at what expense?  I struggled with that today because what I’m about to share is private.  Not in a bad way, and I know when I show it to Adam he will feel proud.  But it’s a private moment that I selfishly wanted to keep to myself and so I struggled. But in the end, I’m showing it because sometimes when we get it right, we have to share that too. Because whenever I've struggled with a mothering problem, some of the best ideas I’ve ever gotten have been from other mothers. So I’m going to share.   

This past September, Adam was having a hard time going back to school.  The work was harder, he was sad to be back at school every day when he wanted to be home with his family and he was tired.  So to help with the transition, I started writing notes and putting them in his lunch bag.  Just short notes to let him know I was thinking of him in hopes they would put a smile on his face.  He never mentioned them to me, but I kept putting them in – even on the days when we were running late, I would quickly sit down to write it and slip it into his bag. 

And then a spectacular thing happened last week and I knew that at least this one time, I got it right.  He started to write me back.

Labels/Tags: sharon devellis, the inside scoop, honesty, parenting, moments

Posted by sharond at 12:37:46 View Comments | Click Here to Comment

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Great job Sharon, I love how honest and true you are, don't ever change it is great to see someone so real... I Love it and keep on expressing your thoughts and feelings, I know that it has inspired myself and am sure many others. I am so glad that this website is is here .
Jenna Pilon, Cambridge, Ontario

Crying!! At work!! What a boy...that's amazing. Wow...
Caroline , Mississauga, ON

Now THAT is special! Thanks for sharing your special moment with the world. Little things like that make life worth living.
Cherilyn, Preeceville, SK

That is beautiful! I know you will keep that forever. I have written notes since my two were in kindergarten. They started off as pictures with a few simple words to sentences to jokes, prayers, and even awards (you can get these from the $ store) My children look forward to their note each day and are disappointed if I forgot. I too got a note back once. I taped it to my fridge for the longest time just to remind me to smile on those "bad" days. It is no safely tucked away for me to keep forever. We do get it right. More often then we realise. Keep up the good work.
Elaine, Ontario