Yummy Mummy Sarah M. from Windsor, Ontario asks:
How do I start to talk to my ten-year-old daughter about the whole puberty/sex thing without revealing too much info or scaring her? I have spoken with her about puberty, now she’s starting to develop. How do I explain all the sex things? I’m very blunt & honest. I’ve always waited for her to come to me with questions. Am I doing the right thing? 
Dear Sarah,
Your timing is perfect. From the age of 10 is the very best time to start a child’s teenage sex education. Why? They are old enough to understand more complex ideas and young enough to see you as the authoritative figure and respect what you have to say. When a child turns 12 they start looking to their friends for answers.
It’s your job to make sure your child goes out into their MTV world armed with solid sex information.
To start a conversation, it’s best to buy a respected book and leave it out for your daughter to find. A great book for 8’ish to 13 year olds is (depending on your child’s maturity level): It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex & Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris.
Give her a couple weeks to look through and digest the information. Then make a date to talk about the information inside the book. Make the conversations short (10 minutes) and frequent (once a week). If she feels weird talking to you about certain things, tell her that you felt the same way when you were her age.
Second, explain their sexuality is their business and your concern.
Make sure your children are comfortable with using condoms. Start talking to your kids about what condoms are, and how they are used. That you understand they will probably want to experiment with sex between the ages of 13 and 17. (Please don’t be shocked by this: research shows that the majority of teenagers will have intercourse by the time they’re 17.)
Take your children to purchase condoms. Alongside most condom shelves, you will find vaginal lubricants and choose a bottle. Then go to the produce aisle and pick out a cucumber or a banana.
Then at home practice together how to use a condom. Spread the lubricant to cover the makeshift penis. Take turns unrolling the condom, first with two hands. As things get more comfortable, have your children practice using one hand.
For those parents with a son: after this activity, hand your son the box of condoms and say, “Let me know whenever you need more. I will buy a new box.” If you want to take it a step further because you’re a progressive parent, request that your son use the condoms while he masturbates. This will allow him to get used to how a condom feels.
For those parents with a daughter: you need to help build her sexual self confidence. Tell her that she can say no if she does not want to have sex. Explain that it is her responsibility to initiate the use of condoms. She needs to introduce them to her boyfriend and put them on him. She needs to make sure it doesn’t break and stays on the entire time.
Next, role-play the different objections her boyfriend might give to her to wearing a condom.
He says, “I don’t like the feelings.” Or, “I can’t feel anything.”
She says, “I won’t have sex with you unless you wear a condom.”
He says, “I want to try it without a condom, just this once.” Or, “It’s too much bother.”
She says, “I won’t have sex with you unless you wear a condom.”
Of course, she knows whenever she needs a new box of condoms you would be happy to pick her up a box.
Teenagers also need to be educated on oral sex. Many teenagers (and grown ups for that matter) do not understand that giving oral sex to someone with an STD, might mean contracting an STD around their mouth area. As oral sex is extremely commonplace among teenagers, kids need to protect themselves.
Finally, having “the talk” isn’t a one time deal. It is a dialogue over many years. It’s great that you are open to your daughter coming to you with any sex question; however, make sure that when it gets a place where you’re uncomfortable (i.e. she’s about to have sex for the first time and you feel she’s too young) that you accept her decision.
Research proves kids who are given a comprehensive education in sex will make the best and most responsible choices. Meaning they will have sex only when they are ready to have sex.
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