No matter how hard I try, I can’t pick a good watermelon. I’ve knocked more melons than a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and still end up with light pink, tasteless mush.
So after cutting into yet another dud watermelon this morning only to find more rind than red, I decided to research how to choose the perfect watermelon.
This is what I’ve found.
Look for a watermelon that’s firm, symmetrical and is free of bruises, cuts or dents. Ladies…this is also a good reference when choosing sexual partners.
It should be medium to light green with a light yellow ring on the bottom. If the ring is greenish or white, it’s not ripe. And here’s a little fact you should know…unlike other fruits, watermelon doesn’t continue to ripen once it’s off the vine. So if it’s not ripe when you pick it out at the supermarket, unlike my feet in a pair of cheap knock-off Crocs, it’s not getting any riper.
When the rind becomes rough to the touch, turns from shiny to dull and is resistant to penetration by the thumbnail, it’s a sign of melon ripeness. Also a botched boob job. And lastly, a watermelon should be heavy for its size. A watermelon is 92% water with most of its weight being water. After stepping on the scale this morning, I'd guesstimate my body is running about a 95.
There you go! Now you have the tips for buying the perfect watermelon this summer! And when find one, can you pick up two? I need all the help I can get.
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