I read a story about a 12-year-old boy, Joel Morales, who had been taunted and bullied by classmates and, despite moving schools, the bullying continued. Last week he hung himself in his family's apartment.
My older son is not too far away from twelve. I can't imagine what Joel's family is going through—what this boy went through that brought him to the point he felt he had no other choice but to kill himself.
Yesterday, after school, I showed my boys the story and then I talked to them about it. It's not a conversation I expected to have at such a young age, to me they are still babies. But I also know there are more and more stories like this one about Joel and burying my head in the sand isn't an option.
So we talked. We talked about how bad this little boy must have felt to kill himself. We talked about how they can come to me or their dad and discuss anything without any judgment. We talked about how Joel's friends thought he was happy and how it's important to tell someone when they're feeling sad. We talked about bullies. And while I didn't tell them I tried to commit suicide when I was a teenager, I did ask them to try to imagine what this world would be like if I had. But they're still too young to comprehend how it means they wouldn't be here. These two beautiful boys who I love to the depths of my soul wouldn't even exist.
Joel's story has stayed with me. I think about his mother. I think about his pain and those last moments when this sweet child felt his life wasn't going to get any better. I think about who isn't going to exist because he's gone.
And then I cry. Because it's not just Joel, there are children out there going through the same thing right now. On the outside they look happy but on the inside they feel they can't go on.
It could be yours.
So even though they are young and still our babies, even though it is difficult and awkward, start the conversation.
It's not the answer to everything but by talking to them, the door has been opened.
Now I need to figure out how to make sure it will never be shut.
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