I Am A Brush Whore

I was going to write about my awesome Mother's Day but how it's a weird day for me in general because on the one hand it's Mother's Day and I get completely spoiled yet on the other hand I think of my own mom who is no longer here and then there's the fact that it's also the four year anniversary of the day our family got into a head on collision with a drunk driver.

I know, my life is awesome, is it not?

I was going to write about all of that but then I realized I'm a brush whore.

Seriously. Also, WTF. How does something like this even happen? I didn't realize it was this bad. I think it may even trump my white t-shirt addiction. When I brought the brushes downstairs to take the picture, my husband looked at the bag, then at me, then back at the bag and did that whole slow head shake thing. My kids were all "OMG Mom, why do you have so many brushes?" and I was all, "It's an addiction, leave me alone." When they were spread out in different drawers and baskets in the bathroom it didn't seem like a problem, yet when viewed all together...

Huh.

In my defense, I didn't buy them all at once. They were bought for different lengths and styles. The super skinny one was because I got bangs and a bigger brush would make them practically stick straight out. There's a no tangle brush in the mix. The oval one makes my hair super straight. There are large barrel brushes for long hair and boar hair bristles brushes to make it shiny. That was before I realized what I actually need are brushes with little plastic bristles to grab onto my hair. But not all plastic bristles because those don't grab on enough, there needs to be a mixture of boar and plastic.

Of course, there's a comb thrown in in for good measure.

I may be a whore but a girl also needs to tease.

My husband has only one brush in his bathroom repertoire.

I use that one too.

A few weeks ago I was at the Beauty Supply Outlet buying hair dye for my roots. I'm about 90% grey and my hair grows fast—about an inch a month—so I need to dye my roots every three weeks. That means if I went to a salon to get it done I would have to pay my hairdresser a kajillion dollars a year just for root upkeep and our accountant told us I could have nice roots or a house but not both.

I hate our accountant.

While I was there I came across what I think will be the be-all-to-end-all brush purchases ever. It's the 3D by Hotheads. The packaging said it would cut my drying time by 50% and it has THREE different sets of bristles. Three! And the bristles are kinda angled which means it must do something different than the plain ol' straight lined brushes, right? Plus the woman at the counter, who I'm sure recognized me from previous brush purchases, told me if I didn't like it I could return it.

Also, did I mention the angled bristle pattern?