I don't like potatoes. I mean, I *will* eat french fries, but only under protest.
I am afraid of pedicures. Not only do I not enjoy having people touch my feet (vomit), I am dealthy afraid of picking up some scary toenail-falling-off disease. Also, I don't like when people talk about me in other languages.
I am not a shoe person. I'm serious. If you offered me a pair of beautiful red-bottomed shoes, I'd probably return them to buy some sweet camera equipment.
Sometimes I say LITERALLY when I don't actually mean LITERALLY.
I don't think Friends has held up the way Seinfeld has.
I do the Thriller dance. A lot. In public.
I don't understand the appeal of poker.
I don't drink mojitos. Or Fruity-tinis of any kind.
I will steal your cupcake.
I don't like cheesecake.
I love showtunes.
I hate white pants, but would give anything to own a riding outfit. (DO NOT insert a 50 Shades of Grey riding crop joke. Because, well, I REALLY DID NOT LIKE 50 SHADES OF GREY.)
I would probably do dirty things to Sean Penn. And Adrien Brody. But not at the same time.
I am the mother of a 5th grader who says things like this: Hey, Mommy, did Sarah Palin do the voice of Jessie in Toy Story?
I have never eaten Velveeta cheese. Or at Taco Bell.
I never buy my children's school pictures. On principle.
I think that Hope Floats is the very worst movie. Ever. Full stop.
I will not eat anything that swims. Or swam. Or hung out near the water.
Lester Bangs is a hero of mine. The real one. Although the Philip Seymour Hoffman version is pretty killer too.
I think that "Come on Get Higher" song is ridiculously hot.
I once actually said these words. In front of people who were watching The Karate Kid. “Sweet the lick? is that some sort of weird karate move? That line never made any sense to me. Why does he tell him to sweet the lick?” Holy sweep the leg, Batman! You cannot take me anywhere. I'm such a cream puff. Which, incidentally, is something else I have never had.
So, um, can we still be friends?
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