If you smile at strangers 9 out of 10 will smile back. The 10th will give you a look that says “I think you’re a serial killer” and will avoid eye contact at all costs.
The degree to which a person tilts his or her head when you’re describing something going on in your life is directly correlated to how f*cked up your life actually is.
Forgot to email your boss a report that was due two hours ago: Slight tilt = Meh, not a big deal
In a rush to get him the report, accidentally emailed your boss a naked picture of yourself: Midway tilt = thank god it wasn’t me but you’ll laugh about it in a few months.
Boss emails back that he wants to get it on: Ear almost touching shoulder accompanied by a slight face grimace = you’re f*cked.
There is no greater pain in the world than stepping on a Lego piece barefoot. The chances of the Lego piece hitting the sensitive arch area is increased 100% if you are running at the time.
Always keep a notepad by your bed because inevitably you will wake up in the middle of the night with the greatest idea ever and be convinced that you will never forget this ground breaking concept. Don’t fool yourself. Write it down otherwise come morning all you’ll be left with is bedhead, a vague recollection of knowing you came up with something great and spit crust on the side of your face.
Your chances of being behind a person who is price matching increases exponentially depending on how late you are already running.
You will impulse buy a $50 sweater that's on sale but continue to use the $2.49 toothpaste until the last drop is squeezed out of the tube, even though you hate that particular flavour, because you don't want to waste money.
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