It’s 4:30 pm and I’m standing in the supermarket queue, both my kids are tired and hungry and my 2 year old is crying. How tempting is it to dream of escaping from tantrums in supermarkets, the endless calls for Mummy day and night or battles over bedtime to a place far far away at least for a little while?
I’ve lost count of the times when I’ve imagined what it would be like to leave it all behind, to just step on a plane and to only be responsible for myself and not for entertaining small children for hours on end. To see a long haul flight as a chance for the ever elusive “me time” to read books, relax and sleep in an uncomfortable chair rather than a hellish endurance event. Tough choice? Not really is it!
I have spent the last decade accommodating everyone else’s needs when considering the needs of my family before my own. Travel is no longer about what I want but about providing endless distractions to children and trying to avoid problems before they happen i.e. keeping them fed and watered, planning activities around sleep schedules etc. Before kids I was lucky enough to travel the world and even now I still travel to exciting places in my dreams. Now life has provided me with a wonderful and unexpected opportunity to travel to Europe and I am grabbing it with both hands!
When I tell people of my plans to travel to Europe sans enfants I hold my breath in anticipation of criticism. “How can you be so selfish?” How can you leave your family for 3 weeks?” But the only one who has asked me these questions is me! Everyone else is supportive and encouraging me, giving me all sorts of reasons to go (especially other mothers of small children who fantasize about making their own “great escape”) so why do I feel my heart as though my heart is being squeezed?
I will miss my loved ones and no doubt spend a fortune on international phone calls but I will enjoy the taste of freedom for as long as it lasts!
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