Christmas is almost upon us.
While all the women I know are busy running around picking up toys for children| nieces| nephews| in-laws| parents| long-lost cousins| teachers| bus drivers| babysitters| a person they met once who said something nice about their hair| and so forth| most men are oblivious to the number of shopping days left.
It doesn't really matter until that last weekend before| or even the day before| does it? Where's the thrill of adventure? The satisfaction that comes with walking out the mall doors as the cleaning staff locks up? More importantly| where's the appropriate gift? With about two minutes' thought put into gifts| it's no wonder that more often than not| we're left a little flat when we open up a cookbook| wine glasses| tablecloth or gift certificate.
If men were smart| they could save themselves money and time| and actually produce a smile and warm feeling from their stressed-out holiday wives. I'll lob out a few tips| in the spirit of giving| receiving and not having to find the time to return or re-gift that hand blender from last year.
The 12 Days of "His List":
Day 1: Flattery will get you mostly everywhere. A compliment about hair| weight| shoes or complexion will bring about a smile.
Day 2: "Surprise Honey| I did the dishes"...but without actually saying it. When you do it| have some humility and don't announce it. When she discovers what you have done (and she will notice) you've done a good thing.
Day 3: Be pro-active. Instead of complaining about taking the kids for their flu shots| what about simply saying| "Hey it's time for the flu shots. Who's coming to the clinic with me tonight?"
Day 4: Talk about her behind her back| to her friends. Now here's the key point| fellas. Make sure you only say nice things. These will get back to her quicker than a toddler's runny nose hits his upper lip. The "once-removed" compliment is a classic points-getter.
Day 5: Bring her a glass of wine| a snack| a favourite magazine| slippers| some measure of comfort| couched with the phrase| "You deserve this. Sit| relax."
Day 6: Trash a "known enemy" of your wife's| instead of saying| "Oh| she can't be that bad...you're taking things too personally." Replace it with| "That's too bad she has such a bad personality to go along with those huge thighs and that dump truck face."
Day 7: When the toddler needs his bum wiped| do it.
Day 8: Pick up many| many dishes and put them in the dishwasher. You know where it is.
Day 9: Just take the kids out. We don't care where| but we do care for how long. Minimum two hours| no explanation. Just go. Take your time.
Day 10: Flowers are great...chocolate and champagne are better. Instead of cooking dinner? Fabulous.
Day 11: E-mail all her friends to find out what she'd really like for Christmas. Buy it| or them| now.
Day 12: Bask in the glow of her love...or at least spend the morning NOT listening to disappointed sighs and wistful glances.
If they play their cards right| they might just find themselves on the receiving end of a much-sought-after gift themselves.
"
Printer-friendly version