Empower Yourself to Create a Better Sex Life

Five great ideas from the book Till Sex Do Us Part

Better Sex Life

Why does good married sex goes beyond the orgasm? Men and women were told that because a woman can have an orgasm, she will be sexually satiated. It’s my experience that many women can and do consistently have an orgasm during the sexual experience and yet she is not sexually satisfied once the sex is over. Therefore, there must be more to the sex than having an orgasm.

Women need to feel that when they walk into the bedroom, they will be nurtured. Single-sex rarely provides the nurturing she needs.

Here are five ideas from my book, Till Sex Do Us Part, on how to create a better sex life.

1. Get Rid of your single woman sex baggage

Single-woman sex in a long term relationship tends to create a lack of sexual desire—i.e. the thoughts you have towards sex. Too many women think about sex in “oh crap” terms: “oh crap do I have to have sex tonight?”

A lack of sexual desire is the number one reason couples in North America stop having sex.

2. Avoid the Sex Routine Trap

Because of the limited single-sex knowledge, the “I get you off, then you get me off and we’re done” sexual experience becomes very boring, very quickly. Couples need to incorporate intimacy, sensuality and novelty—my book is chock full of great suggestions on how to do that.

3. Get real with your sexual communication

The down fall for too many couples is an inability to talk about sexual needs and wants. Instead the only time a couple speaks about sex is in negative terms—i.e. “Our sex life stinks”, “We never have sex”, etc.

When a couple shifts their communication to, “Our sex life isn’t what we’d like it to be, and what can we do about it”, that will make all the difference when working through difficulties.

4. Make your body your sexual ally

Women tend to numb themselves from their necks down and live inside their heads. Multi-tasking works great for every place but the bedroom.

Not only that, the average gal feels guilty allowing herself to experience abandoned sensuality and pleasure. It’s only when a woman can reconnect with her body that she will enjoy the sexual experience in totality.

5. Make Married woman sex stick

By committing ourselves to a long term relationship, we have decided to have sex with one person…for many, many years.

Monogamy does not have to mean monotony.

Sexual satisfaction requires that a couple puts at least a little time and attention into their relationship. Busy couples feel overwhelmed at the prospect.

In fact, creating intimacy in and outside the bedroom is relatively easy and doesn’t take much time. The upside is putting effort in your intimate and sexual relationship will give you more energy and zeal—and a bounce in your step. What could be better than that?

RELATED: Help! I'm in a Sex Rut! 

Relationship and sexual health expert, Dr. Trina Read, is the founder of VivaXO.com and Sensual Tastes Events. She is a mom of two boys, a best selling author, a go-to media expert, magazine columnist, spokeswoman and award winning international speaker.