Dear Husband (Baby Daddy), remember when we used to stay in our pajamas all day, sip our coffees, read the paper, and didn’t have our days planned around food and naps? Remember when we used to get excited about home projects and would spontaneously go out for dinner or drinks? Remember when we would just be?
Moments like these rarely happen with a busy toddler running around, and when they do (first I pinch myself), I want to hold onto them and not let go.
Thanks to the rain, this weekend was a string of many of those moments. I was happy to be introverted and just stay close to home, away from the busyness and influence of our crazy lives.
It makes me angry, because no one tells you you’re going to feel this way when you’re planning to have a family. No one tells you that there will be times when your marriage is going to be holding on by a thread. There is so much hype around getting pregnant and the pregnancy phase, and then the baby’s arrival, followed by all of their stages, that somewhere along the way you just kind of get lost in the excitement and, sadly, so do some of your closest relationships (like the guy you fell in love with and married).
No one has the balls to burst the perfect bubble and talk about this inevitable part of having babies. It’s just to be expected that everything is wonderful and happy, because, hey, you have a baby! Well, yes, it’s wonderful, but there is more to life, right?
So, before I go any deeper, I want to turn this around, because whilst there are many hard times with kids in tow, it’s important to remember what you had before the crying, diapers, and sleepless nights, and continue having those moments.
I’ve compiled a short list of things to keep a marriage real:
Let the rushed morning kisses goodbye linger a little longer.
Continue talking to each other. Take time early in the evening (before you’re too exhausted) to talk about the day and ask questions.
Encourage each other to do things, like working out, taking a class, or going out on the town with the girls/guys.
Remember the things you used to do pre-baby and do them together (for ex: date night—super cliche, but so important).
Continue to laugh. That is what will keep the spark alive.
The Hubs and I are ten years strong this month, but these last few years have been the most challenging (err, amazing). Having a child takes it’s toll, but if you can weather the bumps, I swear it brings you to a whole new level.
Here’s to more rainy weekends, hibernation, and remembering.
What are your secrets to keeping your marriage real post-baby?
Click on these links for more tips and creative ways to keep your marriage strong.
Printer-friendly version