Some of my fondest childhood memories are of dancing the night away at one of our many family weddings. All year I would look forward to the nuptials of one of my umpteen aunts or uncles or cousins or cousin’s cousins. Once the big day arrived, there was so much to take in—the beautiful bride, the loving groom, the proud parents, and the brightly coloured streamers and paper bells decorating the church. Not to mention the thrill of crushing on one of the handsome groomsmen (twenty years my senior) from afar, and wondering why the bridesmaid kept giggling uncontrollably as she stumbled around the dance floor. As I reminisce about the good ol’ days, I realize that out of the past five weddings I have attended, none have allowed children as guests. It makes me wonder—if our kids never go to weddings, will they understand all the funny little traditions and unexplainable customs that go into your typical North American ceremony?
Let me start by saying that I totally and completely understand why some people choose not to invite children to their wedding. If I were paying $100 per head, I would not want to hear little Bobby complaining about the quail in red wine reduction and demanding that he get a hot dog or chicken fingers NOW!!! Children add another element of planning that couples may just not want to deal with. When I was attending these Prairie weddings in the eighties, they usually took place in a rural town hall or hockey arena that could hold five hundred people. (Hey, no judging, they were fun!) So, having twenty rugrats running around was no big deal.
If our kids never get the chance to go to a wedding until they are teens or adults, will they understand all the odd little traditions that are built into a ceremony and reception? Will our daughters stare blankly as the bride tosses an unclaimed bouquet at their feet? Will our sons look away in embarrassment as the groom removes the bride’s garter with his teeth? Will they all scream in horror as the bride and groom are hoisted into the air on chairs?
Perhaps this lack of wedding exposure will cause our kids to re-invent the traditional wedding ceremony. Maybe the grooms-of-the-future will cartwheel up the aisle. The brides-of-tomorrow may dress as Carmen Miranda or Cher. Perhaps the groomsmen will chest bump the bridesmaids after the couple exchanges vows. It’s hard to say, the possibilities are endless.
No matter what the wedding of the future looks like, I do hope I get a chance to see my daughter dancing with her father at a wedding (other than her own) and pretend to be horrified when she sneaks a sip of my wine. I want to watch her stare at the bride with awe and hear her tell me that groomsman number three is destined to be her true love. I can’t wait to see her twirl her pretty ruffled dress on the dance floor until the wee hours and fall asleep in the car on the way home. What can I say? I guess I’m a traditionalist.
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