I’m over it. Totally over wanting anything material for Christmas, that is.
No, it’s not because I already have everything I could possibly want – for goodness sake there’s a new pair of shoes manufactured probably every 1.5 seconds, for starters. No, it’s because I have come to the realization that our house is so full of stuff that I’m worried if we add even one more thing, it may actually explode.
With four kids and two adults in the house, we are all guilty of hanging on to things we really don’t have a need for anymore. In my husband’s case, it’s a shirt collection representing his high school sports teams. Oh, they’re clean…they’re just totally useless. The kids will never wear them, he’s not about to mount them on the wall, and they take up valuable space in our limited storage area. Ditto with the two slightly used kayaks in our garage, the mitre saw, and the exercise bike in the family room – the “cost per use” of these items is extremely high and a little disturbing. Clearly I have not educated him on the formula I deploy on whether to purchase and/or keep certain items.
My friends and I use two formulas when deciding whether or not to buy or retain items of clothing or fashion accessorizing. One is the “Cost Per Wear”, or CPW. As an example, a bridesmaid’s dress will always have a high CPW, as it inevitably costs more than you would ever spend on any cocktail dress, and you will ONLY wear it once, no matter what the bride says (“It’ll be perfect the next time you get invited to a floral themed garden party in the fall!”). Conversely, that little black dress which you found on the sale rack and makes your hips look remarkably small…well you’re practically down at a $1.50 per wear on that baby.
The other formula one needs to deploy is the CPC, or “Cost Per Compliment”. Let’s face it – it’s a little disheartening to put on a new piece of clothing and not have one person comment on it – yet we all have that top or pants which are well past their “current season” date, but every time we wear them, someone remarks on how good they look. The incorrect response is “This old thing?”, and the correct one is “Thanks – you just lowered the actual cost of this blouse, using my handy CPC calculator.”
Most of kids’ clothing has a fairly high cost per wear. While jeans from WalMart might only cost$20.00, it has been my discovery that children between the ages of 2-12 grow at such an exceptional rate, not only physically but also mentally in terms of what they will consider wearing, that you’re lucky to get even two “wears” out of them. “But honey you loved Hannah Montana last week. Maybe we can put a patch over the pocket…oh never mind they’re too short anyway. How does your little brother feel about her?”
If only I could get them to consider wearing one of those weird old sports shirts, we could lower our cost ratio all around. And then I could ask Santa for some hot new boots.
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