Years ago, on a late Sunday morning, I was enjoying brunch with a friend who was a nurse in an emergency room. As I was about to bite into my bagel with smoked salmon and cream cheese, he told me about BRIs.
Bagel Related Injuries.
Turns out that every Saturday and Sunday before noon, there would be an influx of BRIs coming into the ER to be stitched up.
“What kind of idiot can’t slice a bagel?” I thought to myself as I sipped my coffee.
Two weekends later, I was getting stitches at the ER. It’s actually much easier to cut yourself while slicing a bagel than I originally thought, and more so when you try to cut a frozen bagel. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way. On the way home I bought myself one of these. I may be an idiot, but I wasn’t giving up my Saturday morning bagel with peanut butter.
Fast forward 20 years, and the new thing that’s sending people to the ER is clamshell packaging.
You may have never heard of wrap rage, but I can guarantee you’ve experienced it at least once while trying to open up that brand new computer mouse, electric toothbrush, or headsets. I once spent ten minutes trying to get a weighted skipping rope out of a package. By the time I was done, I was too tired to workout. Let’s not even get started on children’s toys that come not only in a clamshell package but are also secured in place with hundreds of plastic ties. And yet, we all only get one seatbelt each in a car.
Christmas morning and birthday parties for parents are not so much about joy and celebration as they are about annoyance and frustration.
As reported in this Toronto Star article, clamshells are notoriously difficult to open - which is why people resort to knives, box cutters, and scissors to attempt to bust them open. This in turn means an increase in emergency room visits for everything from amputated fingers and sliced tendons to eye injuries.
So, what’s a parent to do? Skip the scissors and go straight to the kitchen. A can opener is going to be your new best friend. Simply line it up to the seam of the packaging and twist your way to easy access.
I don’t have any tricks for the plastic ties, but I heard from a friend that wine makes it more bearable.