Click to comment on this article

Oh dear, I totally understand. I too was a foster parent, we watched tween girls, the ones that are the hardest to place. The first one we had was 12 and we thought we might be able to adopt her, but it wasn’t the case. She was returned to the monsters that had abused her before. They tore her out of my arms screaming and crying, I thought I would lose my mind. We were empty nesters and had 5 grown children all gone from home. We had no contact for 2 years, the family wouldn’t allow it then we get a phone call from DCF to ask us if we wanted our little girl back. Of course we said YES! They admitted they made a mistake and should have never given her back and should have left her with us. Wow, what a difference 2 years made. She was a troubled 14 yr old with tons of problems. Where did my little girl go? Somewhere deep she was there but it took a long time to find her again, many layers. Tough love had to be done, we finally adopted her at age 16 this past May. She’s a teenager with all the drama and silliness that goes with that but we are now her forever family. My son is 34, not married has a big house and lots of love to give so he is going to do the same thing and I’m gonna help him. I may foster again someday, but right now 6 children an for now 5 grandchildren take up my time. God bless you and what you do, I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS to see a little one arrive with just a garage bag with some clothes if you are lucky. They are lost little souls that didn’t ask for this to happen to them, some adult did it and they are having to pay the price. I pray for them daily. Thanks for your story.
Vickie Couturier, Tennessee, USA

I just finished reading the story about Foster Parenting.  It truly touched me, and I think I can understand how heart-wrenching it can be to "give up a child" to be adopted.  You see, since birth, I am an adopted child.  Although my experience is somewhat different than that of a foster family, reading this article made me think about my life and how it could have turned out so much differently had I not been adopted.  This beautiful child is as lucky as I was to have been loved and cherished from birth by a foster parent, who it appears was more than just a foster parent to this child.  This child, was truly a  child of her heart.  This mom, Karen, was brave enough and strong enough, to take on probably one of the most difficult "jobs" of her life when she became a foster mother.   Karen knew from the moment that she fostered a child, especially and infant, that one day she might have to say good-bye.  This in itself, makes, Karen, an even more remarkable woman.  It was truly touching to read an article where the foster mother, wasn't just in it for the "check" you receive to temporarily step in to be a parent to a child, never knowing just how long that child would be with her.  You hear so many stories about how awful foster parents can be, but this woman has showed that isn't always the case. 
 
As I stated earlier, my experience is somewhat different, but it compelled me to share one of my most cherished memories as an adopted child.  I can't truly remember when my parents told me I was adopted, it was just something I always knew.  My adoptive family, is truly my one and only family.  (As I continue this email, when I refer to my mother or father, these are my adopted parents, but as I previously stated they are my one and only true family.)
 
 It was approximately 26+ years ago, when I was about 8 months pregnant with my first daughter, Sarina,  that my father and I were going through some old family picture albums.  When we got to one particular page, my father spent more time on it than the others, so I asked him what he was looking at.  This was a picture of my mother in a bathing suit well into her one and only pregnancy (she had to have a hysterectomy right after giving birth to my older brother).  My father looked up from the picture and looked at me and said, "I'm trying to figure out who she is pregnant with".  I remember playfully punching him in his arm and saying, "Hey dummy, remember I'm adopted!"  We simply looked at each other and laughed.  You see, for my father, I truly was his child, the child of his heart, just as I believe Katie was for Karen.  It was less than a year later, that my father succumbed to cancer.  Sarina was lucky enough to have her grandfather for eight months of her life.  Her sister, Jessica, and her brother, Cody, weren't that fortunate.  Even though Sarina doesn't remember him, she is my only child to actually have "real" moments that I can tell her about her grandfather to keep him "alive" for her.  I also share my memories of my father, so that all my children might know him too.  I hope that Katie's parents can do the same for Karen.  I also hope that Karen will indeed be that "foster" mother in Katie's wedding picture.
 
Thanks Karen for sharing your story with us.
 
God bless,
Nancy Resop

Nancy Resop, Canada

When I got your latest Yummy Mummy email, I glanced at it and got so excited about nap time.  Here I am enjoying a cup of coffee, leftover Christmas cake and thoroughly enjoying your articles that are of great interest to Mommies everywhere - thank you!  I have especially enjoyed the article on fostering.  It is something my husband and I have been thinking of... though I wonder if I am strong enough to be able to say goodbye.  Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
Cathy, Ottawa, ON