One of the most painful things to hear our children or students say is: “I’m stupid” or “I’m dumb.” Our first reaction might be to utter something to counter their statement like, “No, you’re not!” but that response may actually not be helpful. Using phrases that show our children how to address their negative core belief thinking and change it will grow their self-confidence and motivation to handle any tough stuff that arises.
I remember when the twins where infants and my husband and I were in survival mode. Knowing that our 3.5 year old wouldn’t be letting us sleep in most mornings, getting our sleep throughout the night was critical to be able to function well enough to care for these three little ones, as well as care for us. But you have a baby (or babies in my case) and you are going to be up throughout the night. It’s going to happen, as it should, and sometimes as parents we make decisions throughout the night just to get that extra hour of sleep.
Be prepared! Your child might come home after school or daycare and fall apart at your feet. I call this “After School Restraint Collapse.” It’s a thing!
Actually, you might see this in your partner or even yourself. You conduct, orchestrate, produce, think, smile, keep things in your inside brain that you wish you could say out loud, then walk in your front door only to turn into a snarly, crabby person.
When couples share their exciting news about having a baby, part of me cheers for them, and part of me sends them a quiet wish. This wish is to hang in there, because life after a baby is incredibly different than before.
I see articles about how to increase your connection when babies arrive, or even how to improve your sex life, but I suggest a much different goal for the years when children are under five: promise to stay together. I say that assuming neither partner is hurting the other.
I stood staring at them with sweat dripping down my back. My hair disheveled and my face red, I felt defeated. I stood with my shoulders slumped and tears building up behind my eyes staring at their little faces. Each of them standing in their own corner, stealing peeks at each other, each of them willing the other to laugh.
I had been asked to host a fashion show for The Bay downtown Toronto and was instructed to pick out an outfit to wear during the show.
The kids each had their fittings; trying on the clothes that they would be wearing to walk in the show.