"You're such a good mom," my husband says, ironically. "You let Jacob do things that I consider to be completely unsafe."
Jacob, 16-months-old, has opened the dishwasher and is sorting through the utensils. He picks up a butter knife, waves it over his head, and puts it back. Then he grabs a fork, pretends to feed himself something, shoves it back into the utensil tray, and grabs another fork.
Judge if you must, but yes, I let my son play in the dishwasher. I'm trying to make dinner and he needs to occupy himself. He has just entered the tantrum phase, and I've weathered two since picking him up at day care. I have no interest in enticing another.
I don't consider the dishwasher to be unsafe. Of course, it contains glasses, plates, forks, and knives (but only butter knives), but he is learning to use those things, and he's not unsupervised.
Bored with the dishwasher, he moves to the refrigerator and pulls on the handle. I open it for him.
He picks up a yogurt and brings it to me with one of his spoons. I let him in to find what he wants, I explain to my husband, as I open the yogurt so that Jacob can feed himself. It's not safe, my husband insists.  I bite my tongue.
Every day, I get my son ready to go in the morning, feed him breakfast, take him to day care and help get him settled.  I pick him up at the end of the day, make his dinner and clean up afterwards.  I make his lunch for the next day, play games with him, give him a bath, get him ready for bed, read him bedtime stories, nurse him, and stay with him until he falls asleep. I return to him whenever he wakes throughout night, as he still does several times a night.
And in the midst of all that, I let him do things that others might consider unsafe.
But he's not unsafe. He's learning. So instead of telling my husband that perhaps he'd be more of a help to me if his parents hadn't portrayed the dishwasher and refrigerator as unsafe, I smile and say, "Isn't it amazing how much Jacob can do for himself?"
And my husband can't help but agree.
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