Weird & Wild Pregnancy Symptoms Not Everyone Talks About

Yo dawg, we heard you're pregnant. Congratulations on 10 months of hell and joy. No doubt you've got your nose in the books to find out everything you need to know about what to expect during this momentous time. But us moms, who have been there and done that? We can tell you that those books will gloss over some important information on symptoms you might get that might just weird or gross you out - but at least relieve you to know that you've not developed some sort of weird disease.

Well, you have caught a weird disease, but it's called pregnancy, and we can reassure you that these side effects will resolve themselves in due time.

Hello Pizzaface

Being 16 had nothing on being pregnant, at least not for me. Cystic acne might flare up everywhere. Face, chest, even behind your EARS.

You Are a Slobbersaurus

Pregnancy makes you drool. I don't know why. I woke up 17 times in the night to gradually peel away sodden layers of towels from my pillow.... and eventually flip it over front to back and left to right.

Your Nose May Drool Too

It's called rhinitis. Some days you just do what you gotta do to keep it from running down your face constantly.

Morning Sickness. LOL

You might be lucky. You might not get it. You might get it once a day. You might have it a few times a day. You might puke so incessantly you end up in the hospital for dehydration. And then you might puke through the entire delivery process with every contraction.

Everything Stinks

It's like someone turned the dial up on sensitivity to 11. I couldn't stand to have a coffee pot anywhere nearby. Not because it made me queasy, but because it was like having someone standing beside me at work yelling "COFFEE! COFFEE! THERE'S COFFEE HERE!"

You might wake yourself up with your snoring

Husband thought this was funny. When I woke up from snoring (at least twice a night), I'd take the opportunity to tend to my puddle of drool.

Things taste weird

If you wonder how people end up with these weird pregnant cravings, it's cause sometimes nothing tastes the way it's supposed to.

You get hairy. Everywhere.

I was told there would be glowing and all I got out of this was having to shave legs all the way up to my lower back.

You get... Sragey

Hormones for the win. Many days it was walking a tightrope between tears and insane rage. Cry over kittens and puppies in commercials. Rage over vending machines being broken. Cry cause someone says they like your shirt. Rage cause your pen was out of ink. Rinse and repeat.

You lose your mind

I call this momnesia. You'll find your keys in the fridge, you'll walk into rooms and forget why you're there, you'll go braindead in the middle of introducing people you have known for 20 years and have to ask them their name.

You will fart toxic gas constantly

This is 50% due to being pregnant and 50% due to being perpetually constipated from prenatal vitamins.

You'll get your 10,000 steps every day walking to the bathroom

My boss made me sragey by asking me to come to his office to show him how to do something because inevitably every time I got up meant I had to go to the bathroom.

Everything hurts

Everything's stretching, moving, pushing on things that they shouldn't be pushing on. Oh, and you're carrying around 20+ pounds of baby and associated production materials.