The resistance surprised me.
“Don’t get a dog from the shelter,” an experienced dog owner told me. “They are so psychologically damaged that you’ll have nothing but problems.”
Our experience has been anything but problematic.
My children and I adopted Gilda in September 2011 from a dog rescue organisation. It has been the best parenting decision I’ve ever made, but that may be because we’ve done a few things right.
Dogs Need Jobs
One of the things I have made clear to my dog is that the children are her job in the same way a collie would care for sheep. We both wake them up in the morning (although I do not lick their faces), we walk them to school, and pick them up.
It’s also Gilda’s job to go lie beside them when they are in trouble with me. During periods of remorse after a “good talking to,” when it would be inappropriate for me to comfort them, the dog ensures they are not alone when they feel bad. Gilda’s comforts have reduced the duration and volume of occasional melt-downs and crying jags.
Protection is a not a big part of the job, but it does happen. When strangers are around, she lies on the floor between the stranger and the kids. She is not threatening, but she is a quiet presence who keeps an eye on everyone in case her help is needed.
The Doggone Dog is Mom’s
Just because the kids are Gilda’s job, does not mean she is the kids’ dog. There is no question that she is my dog. We’ve established that “pack” hierarchy. I am in charge, then the kids, then the dog. That means Gilda eats when the family is finished. That means she exits the house last when we go out for a walk. It is not all about alpha and beta positioning, though. Any food that falls on the floor is hers.
Parents Have to Choose the Dog
This pack—or family hierarchy—was established at the very beginning. Parents have to choose the dog that works for them. Most of the dogs I have known have lived between thirteen and sixteen years. I knew I could make a ten-year-long promise to another living creature. That meant, I needed to find an older dog, not a puppy.
Dogs discover maturity later in life. They might reach adulthood in the physical sense by twelve months of age, but they don’t grow up until they are between two and three years of age. Before that, they need to be carefully monitored and trained consistently. While many mothers are up for the challenge of puppydom, I knew I wasn’t. I knew it when my brother-in-law posted pictures of their family’s leather couch after their puppy ate it. He also posted pictures of the painstaking repairs he made. Then he posted the after pictures when the puppy chewed the couch up again. I was honest with myself.
Listen to the Experts
Gilda’s online profile told us that she was a great “starter” dog who was mild-tempered and could be left alone during the work day. Of all the dogs we researched, those phrases stood out to me. She was clearly a dog who could deal with us.
The rescue organisation we worked with, like all animal protection networks, has extremely dedicated and experienced volunteers. They work with the dogs on training issues, get to know their temperaments and communicate what the dog needs from its owners extremely clearly. Once I had read all their information, I could give myself permission to meet and fall in love with the right dog.
And, as Gilda both wears her Halloween costume and her role as kid shepherd with perfect grace, there is no question that we have found the right dog.
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