While having a conversation with a respected friend of mine, the most interesting of topics was raised. What do men & women REALLY want? This was not in the conventional gift giving sense but rather from a deeper source; a more meaningful, more fundamental root of what the 2 sexes really want in life & from those around them.
My friend, an astute business man & very wise person, & I, an old soul of sorts, were entering a very interesting territory, from a platonic friendship & business relationship we had the opportunity to explore this idea without the judgment you would often get in a relationship. There were no worries about being offensive to the other; just an honest & eye opening look into the opposite sex. I think we hit the nail on the head & very well may have solved the mystery.
Men want RESPECT. Women want LOVE. Simple? I think so.Think about it. In all the relationships in your life, past & present, what is the one thing that can make or break it? I can almost guarantee that the success, or failure, of any relationship was a result of those 2 words, respect & love. And from the perspective of the different sexes this is the point where it is lost in the translation.
Men, because they desire respect, will give it, almost freely. They respect their bosses, they respect their team mates & although they may not like their opponents, in sports or on the job, they RESPECT them. A perfect example of this is evident in early adulthood. It is often so much easier to be friends with boys, because they’ll tell it like it is, there are not a lot of mind games & the competition among them still maintains a level of respect. Because they want respect, they are programmed to believe that this is number one for women as well. Wrong, to a degree.
Women on the other hand, desire LOVE. From young girls we are surrounded by the need for love, to give it & receive it. From the nurturing play with dolls, to the constant revolving door of “best friends” & the dream to become wives and or mothers someday. As a woman myself, I can say that LOVE truly makes the world go round. And the lack of it can make it stop, for us. Broken hearts are common among us, because the love wasn’t reciprocated in the way that we desire. We search for love our whole lives, above all else. That is why many of us want so badly to become mothers, so we can give AND receive that unconditional love, one that will never falter. Because we WANT love, we automatically give that to the men in our lives. Again, this is the wrong approach, to a degree.
Don’t get me wrong, universally we ALL want love AND respect, but in the difference of the sexes, we tend to highlight what it is WE want instead of looking with an open mind & heart, at what they want. So really think about this. And next time you are thinking of what to GIVE your spouse or partner, give them what THEY want.
When men receive respect, they respond in love. When women receive love they begin to respect. It creates a healthy cycle. The opposite is also true, most of us react rather than respond resulting in the following; when men feel disrespected they act unloving by shutting down or acting out aggressively. When women feel unloved they disrespect, such as nagging or using condescending tones. Understanding these differences can bridge the gap between us & it is in YOUR power to change it.
So, men, give LOVE! Tell her she looks good, let her cry on your shoulder, talk to her, ask about her life & dreams, hold her, be an intrical part of her, know her inside & out, LOVE her in all her glory & in all her flaws.
Women, give RESPECT! Give praise, encourage him, cheer him on, and give him the gift of TIME so that he does the things he loves to do. Don’t nag & nit pick on all his imperfections & don’t talk down to him. You should not try to change him. Be proud of who he is, show him off, fluff his feathers & stroke his ego, ESPECIALLY when he is down.
Sounds simple really, give them what they want, which isn’t necessarily what you, yourself would want. The key to all this & to every relationship is COMMUNICATION, in a way that another can understand you on THEIR level. It starts & ends with YOU. So go home today & give that special person what they REALLY want. And you will see, like magic, you will get what you want. Now, go & make the first move!
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