I have a dream.

A dream that I hope will turn into reality, but as my pregnant belly continues to grow, my energy continues to drain and as the aches progressively increase I am beginning to wonder what will really happen when our first born arrives.

Will my world be turned upside down between endless feedings, poopy diapers and washing laundry? Or will my dream turn into reality and I will finally be able to have the time to turn my part time business into a successful full time entrepreneurial empire?

I have been an entrepreneur for the last 10 years but have always been hesitant to jump right into full time. I have been hesitant to leave the constant flow of income from a nice salary, while paying off school loans and moving through purchasing our first home a year ago. However, times are a changing for this girl, for this girl who likes to have everything planned out.

I will be taking time out of the workplace to raise our little one for as long as it works for our family unit, with the hope that I will be able to be a WAHM. I fit the true Type A personality, obsessive compulsive when it comes to organization, likes to be in control of situations and is never afraid to speak out. I fit the entrepreneurial description with drive and independence, but how will my business and entrance into motherhood merge together?

I always thought that dreams were very attainable with hard word, dedication and solid goal setting. My dream of getting pregnant came true, with hard work and dedication on my part and my lovely husband. Well, let’s be honest - that part was probably more fun than hard work.

Ever since I was a young girl and would think of one day being a mom I have dreamed of a joyous pregnancy with natural childbirth. I have read countless books, worked with prenatal clients over the years and thousands of young children; I have the experience, putting forth hard work and dedication. Then reality hit hard. Four months of hugging the toilet bowl all day and night, even on prescribed medication for the nausea and vomiting. The vomiting finally ended, nausea still lingers, and the aches and pains were right behind. I thought what could happen next?

Now we have been informed that we may have placenta issues. Unless my placenta decides to begin a little travel upwards the dream of natural childbirth may not come alive and a scheduled c-section will occur. So let’s face it, I have learned so far that once there are babies involved you are no longer in control of everything you do in your life. I have started to learn to let go at times and to move with the flow as things are happening.

However, I still keep dreaming. I dream of turning my part time venture into my full time work baby, one baby step at a time. As I look at all the other women around me who are leading successful careers and living the dream of creating a family full of love, you are truly an inspiration. In the back of my head I keep wondering if my dream will play out or if I will quickly be spun back to reality as our little one arrives and I forget whether its day or night, let alone to even take time to shower.

For now I will continue to ride the river of change, however turbulent it may be at times, and look forward to my baby boy arriving and the dream of building my empire.