To My Friends I Never See

Things have to slow down, eventually, right?

Dear friend,

I promise, it’s nothing you’ve done and I’m not avoiding you. I read your text and fully intended to respond, but it was a Tuesday, and Tuesdays always feel like a bit of a massive uphill battle I can’t win.

I’m sorry.

I’d love to have lunch. Or dinner. Or cocktails. Or even just a quick coffee, but I feel like I’m just barely treading water lately. I promise, I’ll try harder. I promise, I won’t cancel next time.

Things have to slow down, eventually, right?

I’ll be the first to admit that I let my friendships fall to the wayside, and I’m grateful to you for tolerating my shitty behaviour and trying to understand. Something had to give back when I was a studying, working, single mom and for that I’m sorry.

But that was six years ago, so I guess I can’t use that as my excuse any more… can I?

It’s not that I don’t love you or want to celebrate you.

It’s not that I’m not interested or don’t care or don’t want to, but the days have too few hours and the to-do lists so many bullets and somehow I forgot how to just be the old me who was (and still wants to be) your friend.

I think of you often and try to find creative ways for us to hang out - Skype calls, phone dates, trips to visit one another.

I promise, I won’t let my decision to move away be an excuse any longer. You deserve better, and I don’t live on the moon. And to the friends who live around the corner, down the street, down the hall: please know when I told you my door is always open, I meant it.

I’m sorry our friendship has devolved from days and nights spent laughing together to a handful of texts and Facebook messages every week.

I’m sorry I blamed parenting, or my breakup, or school, or work, or whatever other thing I brought up as my excuse when I bailed (again) on our plans.

I know it’s been a while since we’ve sat together and enjoyed a glass of wine or a cup of tea, but I hope you know I still - and always will - have your back.

And I know you’re as busy as I am, so I put the call out to you:

Let’s get together. Let’s talk, and laugh, and cry, and drink wine or tea or coffee and rediscover ourselves: the women, the friends. Let’s.

 

IMAGE SOURCE: MARTIN DIMITROV VIA GETTY IMAGES

 

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Ashley MacInnis is a public relations professional, writer, and mom living in Dartmouth, NS with her two kids, retired racing greyhound, and partner. 

Ever the storyteller, Ashley’s spent most of her life boring her family with long-winded tales and decided to put her passion to work by choosing a career in PR and writing. She’s had the pleasure of helping brands and individuals tell their stories to build businesses and reach new audiences and it never gets old. When she’s not typing away on her keyboard, you can find her wrangling her boys into a rink somewhere, running around the lake, or searching for the perfect pair of shoes. 

Follow her on social @imashleymi