Around the time my wife and I learned we were pregnant with our third child, I realized that my pregnancy threat level—or how panicked I felt internally about having additional children—was only canary yellow instead of Creamsicle® orange. Or was it the other way around? I was never quite sure which threat level was more, well, threatening. I wasn’t overwhelmed by that mixture of panic, joy, and bile, and I even skipped my ritualistic calculation of how many years this new baby would push back my retirement. I finally figured out that the joy of fatherhood outweighed the fears and challenges that pregnancy presented. That’s when I decided to write Dude You’re Gonna Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months. (The ebook version is on sale (1.99!) for a limited time on Amazon or Barnes & Noble!)
My goal with the book was to coach new dads along as they joined the cult of fatherhood, and hopefully provide some relief to the growing pains that are so familiar to experienced dads. To welcome rookie dads into the fold this Father’s Day, let’s take a look at five of the biggest mistakes us veterans know new dads can make:
Sitting On The Sidelines
This is the distant relative of point number two. You share DNA with your child, and you will see that come through as time progresses forward. But if you kick back and watch Mom take over, you will probably be hurting your relationship with both of them. Times have changed and you need to get in the trenches. Find your role in your family, and be an active parent in your children’s lives. Most of all, realize (as the adage says) the more you put into it, the more you get out of it.
So while being a new parent isn’t as serious as, say, war, where hot metal flies by you and there are bombs overhead, there will be heated words flying between parents and stinky diaper bombs exploding all over the house. Parenting is a tough job; it always has been and always will be. Kids require a lot of time and effort, and for once in our lives there isn’t “an app for that.” But if you are willing to give the effort, you can become your child’s favorite superhero. Isn’t that what we all wanted to be when we grew up? Here is your chance.
John Pfeiffer is the proud father of three and author of Dude You’re Gonna Be a Dad. You can check out his fatherly advice (gripes) and ramblings at http://www.dudeyoureadad.blogspot.com/ and follow him on Twitter at @johnpfeifferdad.
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