The following is an open letter to every yummy mummy who finds herself stuck living with a total WAHD...
Dear Honey,
Sorry. I know, I promised to build a deck, refinish the antique dining room table, and shingle the roof, but that was before I launched this freelance consulting business, and... yes, you are right, if I haven't gotten around to all those jobs by now, when will I ever.
And so (*deep breath*) yes, I am willing to pay other man to come onto our property in his enormous truck to finish what I haven't started. And no, I won't feel threatened by said man. Although I will NOT be hanging around the house while he works. It's bad enough that I'll have to eventually sit outside and drink beer on a deck built by a man who is not me; I do NOT intend to be around to peer out from my home office window and accidentally glimpse his framing hammer, which is certain to be larger than mine.
Nope, I'll be working at Starbucks that day. And not drinking lattes, let me tell you. Espressos! Straight up! Like a real man. In a real... tiny... porcelain thimble cup thingy.
Also... yes, I forgot to take Annie to her ballet class last Saturday. I know, you told me the time had been switched from 2pm to 3pm... but in fairness to me, you mentioned that while I was in the kitchen making a latte, er...espresso, and not listening - I mean - not close to a pen so I could write down what I definitely heard you say. I've already apologized to Annie for being the reason why she had to run laps at the start of this week's class. Can you forgive me too?
One more thing...the neighbours keep looking at me. You've told them I do have a real job, right? I think I'll start eating lunch on the BACK porch. Oh, and, if I haven't said it lately... I love you. I'm so grateful you put up with me... even on the days when my home office follows me from room to room to room, leaving behind a trail of pens, papers, files and almost-empty coffee mugs for the kids to find and tip over.
Speaking of which... time for a coffee break. Meet me in the kitchen?
Sincerely,
Pete Savage
On behalf of WAHDs everywhere
Printer-friendly version