When the first of my three astonishingly perfect daughters came into the world, I was thrilled. Not because she had a vagina, but because she was a healthy, happy baby.
I was lucky and found that my village was overwhelmingly supportive and excited for me.
When my second and third daughters came along and were just as healthy and happy, the elation I felt was deep and pure – like it was the first time.
But, for some reason, the outside world didn’t feel the same.
"Your poor husband.”
“Girls are so mean.”
“The bond with a girl is just not the same as the bond you have with a boy.”
“I never want a girl. Boys are so much easier.”
This sampling of phrases uttered to me on a regular basis was hurtful. How could someone look into the faces of my children and think they’re destined to be mean? Or that my husband thinks his lot in life sucks? How could you possibly argue that my daughters and I don’t have an equally special bond as mothers and sons?
When I joined the club of motherhood, I couldn’t believe how intense it was. The deep, powerful love. The incredibly hard moments. The fear laced with uncertainty. And the joy. The complete and overwhelming joy.
I imagined that it must be the same among all mothers – whether we were raising girls to be women or boys to be men.
I’ve unfortunately found that at times, that wasn’t the case. And so – even though I think little boys are wonderful little creations – I think girls are, too. They’re fantastic to raise. Here are just 5 reasons why:
My girls play in dirt. They laugh at fart jokes. My oldest daughter plays hockey. They go to sporting events and boo the bad guys. They wrestle, play with cars and dinosaurs, pretend they’re pirates. They love camping and fishing. They also make sparkly crafts, play ‘Mommies & Babies’, watch princess movies and dress up. I’d say that girls these days are pretty well-rounded.
I have a hard time believing that if my girls were boys, they would love me more. (At least not as young kids, which is where my experience is). A mother’s love is something that’s sought after by all children – no matter what their sex. My daughters are sweet and funny and caring and loving. They make me cards and drawings. They shower me with kisses. Most of the time they want nothing more than my presence. I can’t imagine that if my daughter were a boy, our love would be deeper.
I have a brother and I love him to death. He’s wonderful, we’re super close and have been since our 20s. But I’ve been told (and I can see) that there just isn’t anything like a sister’s bond. Having three girls means my little gals will likely grow up to be good girlfriends. They’ll most likely have each other’s backs through thick and thin during their entire lives. They’ll understand each other on a level that males just don’t get. And if they choose to have children of their own one day, they’ll likely all help each other raise them. You just can’t beat that.
He has always been a great guy. But now, my husband is much more aware of his actions and his words about women. He is careful about shaping our children’s expectations of men. He cares about showing them what a healthy, sensitive male can be. He’s more thoughtful and aware of women overall. Plus, he can do a mean princess voice when reading stories.
And they just happen to be all girls.
So, really – what more can I ask for? How could I ever wish for a boy when, to me, my children are just perfect as they are?
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