Do you recall those terrible moments as a teen when your friends wanted you to do something you didn’t want to? From the simplest sleep-over invite to the more complicated party offerings of drugs and alcohol, kids are offered new choices and experiences every day by their peers. Sometimes, it feels easier to just say “yes” than to be left out or made fun of for saying “I’ll pass.”
Here are a few handy get out of jail free tricks for you to team up with them on.
Let your teen know that they always have to call you (not text) if plans are being changed/made. The call can go like this:
Teen: Ughhh I have to call my mom. She never sees texts… Hey mom, we are going to head to a movie after this/Jess wants me to sleep over.
Mom: Do you want to see the movie/sleepover?
Teen: No.
Mom: Then you have to come home to insert-reason-here.
Teen: Please?
Mom: Absolutely not. Don’t argue with me.
Teen: FINE. Guys, I have to go home.
They still look cool, but don’t end up in a situation they don’t want to be in, and they know you are on their side.
Let’s face it; some kids aren’t brave enough yet to stand up to peer pressure (I know LOTS of adults that aren’t, either). Sometimes, lying to get OUT of doing drugs/alcohol is a lot better than lying about actually doing them.
Bad-Kid: “Hey Eve, don’t tell me you don’t smoke weed/drink!”
Your Not-So-Bad-Kid: “Man, my seasonal allergies are the WORST and pot makes my whole face itch. My mom would know right away. I’m going to pass”
OR
“Caffeine works for me; I have a driving lesson first thing tomorrow.”
Work out a few codes with your teen that they can text if they need you; consider even programming your number into their phone with a fake name, so their friends don’t see you as “Mom” if they look over your teen’s shoulder. Some ideas to start off:
CM – Call Me
W2CH – Want to come home
SL8R? – Stay later?
611 – Code for 911; need you right away
NR – Need a ride
Show your teen this list, and start the conversation about what to do in uncomfortable situations. You will be showing trust in their judgement, while offering them the support they still need (whether they admit it or not). Parenting win.
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