When in high school, my friends and I liked to imagine what type of parents we would be:
I’m going to have a wall that they can create art on.
I’ll let them camp in the backyard.
I will let them wear their Halloween costumes to the grocery store, and whatever they like to school.
I’ll play Legos and Barbies and jump in puddles with them.
While this speaks most to the memorable childhood my slightly-hippie parents gave to me, they also show what I, as a teenager, valued about growing up: freedom to experience and to create things.
The question is, am I living up to the ideals of my younger self?
No.
Lately I have been hearing myself say “No, I’ll do it,” instead of letting my eager 5 year-old make us all breakfast (when we are running late and his younger brother is screaming for “Pig!” in the background. Curse you, Peppa Pig).
I have ignored their happy shrieks through the first sprinkler run of the year, because my sad, wilted vegetable garden needed tending.
“In a minute; I just need to (insert chore here) first” has become my most-used phrase.
Am I failing? My husband took a video of the kiddos’ sprinkler festival, and while it made me smile, I felt so SAD that I had my back turned to them in the video.
I try to not be hard on myself, but it is hard to ignore that I was ignoring them, and it is becoming habit. Yes, kids need to play on their own, but I want to play too! Sometimes a good sprinkler run is what you need on the first over-thirty degree day of the year.
The lettuce can be patient, and won’t take it personally that I made it wait.
Thus, my summer-fun-rules:
Working full-time and raising two boys is the hardest thing I have ever done. I hate planning. I hate schedules. Yet somehow, those two things dominate my life these days. Perhaps a little “Yes!” will take the edge off of all those “have to do” lists and make life more fun for everyone.
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