My Kid Could Be A Star. But Should They?

March 08, 2010

Class clown?  Ham at the family suppers?  Voice of an angel?  I think we’ve all had moments where we’ve thought ‘you know, my child could be a star.’   But in light of what we’ve seen and heard of child stars, is it really a good idea? I decided some expert advice was in order, so I took it to Charlotte Moore and Mindy Cohn, who are both in Toronto right now starring in the hit comedy “Glorious!”

Let’s get their credentials out of the way: Charlotte, one of our country’s best musical theatre performers, is part of the 3^rd generation of an acting dynasty –her family’s the Barrymores of Canadian Theatre. 

Mindy almost needs no introduction.  Many of us grew up right along side her as the loveable Natalie Green on The Facts of Life.  Still loveable and very open, she got quite serious when I started asking about the risks of “the biz.”

We’ve all heard the horror stories about child actors –River Phoenix, Emmanuel “Webster” Lewis, Danny Bonaduce, and pretty much the entire cast of Diff’rent Strokes.  What is it that makes them self-destruct?

“It’s not the business, it’s the person,” says Mindy.  Those people “would be like that whether they were an actor or not.  Family makes all the difference.”

And she would know.  Both parents were professionals and neither was in the business.  They kept her grounded.  “They treated it as an extra curricular activity.  Some kids were on the tennis team, I did this.”   Just like my grandma used to drive me to swim lessons, her gran would drive her to the set.  It was this attitude that helped her realise it was a job, not her life: it was what she did, but it was not who she was. 

It's a sentiment Ron Howard has echoed numerous times over the years.  He and his brother both escaped “Child Star Syndrome” because his parents kept them in check.

I ask then about Andrew Koenig, who tragically took his own life in Stanley Park during the Olympic Games.  He had been best known to us as ‘Bonner’ on “Growing Pains.”

Mindy firmly states being a child actor did not create his problems.  In his case, it was a medical condition and perhaps nothing could have prevented his unfortunate demise.

So what about Gary Coleman?  Would he have still gone down the same path if he wasn’t a star?  Mindy pauses for a moment before answering.  “Gary’s different.  I would never say a word against his parents, they’re wonderful people, but he was the breadwinner in the family.  And that’s tremendous pressure for a child.”

“You see it happening,” Charlotte adds.  “Child stars are surrounded by people who won’t say “no” to them.  So they change.  And it happens so quickly.”

“It’s not just kids who that happens to,” cracks Mindy with a wry smile.  “I know a lot of adults who’ve gone the same way…”

Charlotte makes an excellent point when she says “Don’t live through your kids.  Make sure it’s something they want to do, and not just your dream.”   She goes on to talk about her experiences auditioning with stage parents who could give the “hockey moms” a run for their money.  “These parents can be so harsh with their kids.”   The stress and the pressure they put on them is unbeliveable.   Charlotte puts it bluntly when she says “if it’s not fun, don’t do it.”

Not So Star Struck

March 06, 2010

Over the years, I've had the opportunity to meet and/or interview and/or have copious  amounts of beverages with celebrities.  Some idols from my youth, some icons, some flash-in-the-pans.  Most of the time, you realise they're just people -some nice, some not- and you just go on.  Sometimes, though, I must confess that I still get star struck. 

 

I remember when a friend from school became a rap star.  It was a crazy ride.  One weekend we're throwing pennies at cars to set off alarms, then the next (so it seemed) he was on Much Music at the top of the charts.  He started making "appearances" around town with his entourage.  His entourage who didn't think I was attractive/helpful/worthy enough to even be allowed to say hi to my old friend.  I was literally pushed away.  It was a disgusting display.  As was his descent into the bargain bins.  I'm not sure he was even worthy enough for the "where are they now?" query.

 

Now, I'm not telling you this out of spite.  In fact, I was really sad when it happened.  Prior to fame, he'd been a truly great guy.

 

Fast forward a few years.  I'm working at Club Monaco, and he walks in.  No entourage this time, no hype, just him.  He saw me and called out a freindly "Hey!  Rach!"  But I resisted.  I wouldn't hug him. I couldn't be all warm and gushy.  Because I remembered how he'd acted.  And I reminded him about it.

 

"Oh that, it was just an act.  It's what the record company wanted."

 

What, for you to be an a**hole?

 

But fame can do that.

 

Recently, I had a "celebrity" seek me out and hire me for a job.  I was flattered and a wee bit star struck.  This person was someone I'd always looked up to.  They don't know it, but their work is actually interwoven with the memories of day Beloved Hubby proposed.  So yes, you could say there's an emotional attachment or connection there.

 

I won't go into the details, but the job was a nightmare.  The "celeb" turned out to be a serious bully, playing the "star" card at every turn and attempting to take advantage of their position and not fulfill their commitment.  Including not paying for the work.

 

It was heartbreaking, really.  Because I didn't just lose a client, I lost an icon.

 

We freelancers and WAHMs and mompreneurs, we work hard to keep our businesses running.  And in some ways we have more at stake because we can't hide behind a corporate logo: it's our names and reputations on the line.  So we tread lightly and try to appease.  But there is a time to draw the line.

 

The funny thing is, I mentioned to a colleague that I was doing some work for this "celeb" and the first thing he said was "Have they paid you yet?  You'll be lucky if they do."  Turns out there's a whole list of people out there who won't work with this "celeb" anymore because they've pulled this trick on everyone.

 

Sad isn't it.