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As each new year begins we are reminded, and sometimes even cajoled, into making New Year's resolutions. We typically resolve to lose weight, become more physically active, eat healthier, get organized, be more attentive parents, spend more time with friends, etc. Here's a novel idea, what about becoming a more compassionate person?

Not so long ago Yummy Mummy Club's See Mummy Juggle blogger Candace started a Kindness Revolution that really took off in the social networking scene. The whole #BeKind movement on Twitter got me thinking, wouldn't it be nice to make a conscientious effort to do or say something nice to someone every day? This notion of having compassion for others tends to conjure up images of the "kindness of strangers" but acts of compassion don't need to be just for the benefit of strangers. Sometimes we take our family members and friends for granted. Something as simple as telling a loved one how much you appreciate their company can really brighten their day.

I have to share another take on New Year's Resolutions that came from author Leslie Garrett. She tweeted that her 7 year old daughter was writing out her "New Year's Revolutions"! Maybe it is time to scrap the old notion of New Year's Resolutions - inevitably we break them anyway - and start some New Year's Revolutions! Well, it's food for thought. I have a great book recommendation to help get us started. Below is a list of 12 steps toward compassion and an excerpt from Karen Armstrong's new book 12 Steps to a Compassionate Life.

In 12 Steps to a Compassionate Life, Karen Armstrong explains how to practise the religion of compassion that her previous books have preached. In November 2009 Armstrong and TED launched The Charter of Compassion. This Charter states that "We call upon all men and women to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion...to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings — even those regarded as enemies." To date, it's been signed by over 61,000 people on the www.charterforcompassion.org website. Signatures include such figures as The Dalai Lama and Queen Noor, Dave Eggers and Meg Ryan. Out of the ideals of that Charter has come this humane, accessible, indispensable short book for our times.

12 Steps

THE FIRST STEP Learn About Compassion
THE SECOND STEP Look at Your Own World
THE THIRD STEP Compassion for Yourself
THE FOURTH STEP Empathy
THE FIFTH STEP Mindfulness
THE SIXTH STEP Action
THE SEVENTH STEP How Little We Know
THE EIGHTH STEP How Should We Speak to One Another?
THE NINTH STEP Concern for Everybody
THE TENTH STEP Knowledge
THE ELEVENTH STEP Recognition
THE TWELFTH STEP Love Your Enemies

Compassion in a Modern World
By Karen Armstrong

Compassion is something that we recognize and admire; it has resonated with human beings throughout history, and when we encounter a truly compassionate man or woman we feel enhanced. The names of the Quaker prison reformer Elizabeth Fry (1780–1845), Florence Nightingale (1820–1910), the hospital reformer, and Dorothy Day (1897–1980), founder of the Catholic Worker movement, have all become bywords for heroic philanthropy. Despite the fact that they were women in an aggressively male society, all three succeeded in making the compassionate ideal a practical, effective, and enduring force in a world that was in danger of forgetting it. The immense public veneration of Mahatma Gandhi (1869–1948), Martin Luther King Jr. (1929–68), Nelson Mandela, and the Dalai Lama shows that people are hungry for a more compassionate and principled form of leadership. On a different level, the popular cult of the late Diana, Princess of Wales and the extravagant displays of grief after her death in 1997 suggest that, despite her personal difficulties, her warm, hands-on approach was experienced as a welcome contrast to the more distant and impersonal manner of other public figures.

But in many ways compassion is alien to our modern way of life. The capitalist economy is intensely competitive and individualistic, and goes out of its way to encourage us to put ourselves first. When he developed his theory of the evolution of species, Charles Darwin (1809–82) revealed a nature that, as Tennyson had already suggested, was “red in tooth and claw”; the biologist Herbert Spencer (1820–1903) believed that, instead of being imbued with Buddhist “love” or the “softness” of ren, all creatures were perpetually engaged in a brutal struggle in which only the fittest survived. Because it runs counter to the Darwinian vision, advocates of revolutionary theory since Thomas H. Huxley (1825–95) have found altruism problematic. Today positivists, who believe science to be the sole criterion of truth, have argued that our genes are inescapably selfish and that we are programmed to pursue our own interests at whatever cost to our rivals. We have to put ourselves first. Altruism is, therefore, an illusion, a pious dream that is unnatural to humanity. At best it is a “meme,” a unit of cultural ideas, symbols, or practices, that has colonized our minds. A “blessed” misfiring of natural selection, it has turned out to be a useful survival mechanism for Homo sapiens, because those groups that learned to cooperate forged ahead in the desperate competition for resources. But this so-called altruism, they insist, is only apparent; it too is ultimately selfish. “The ‘altruist’ expects reciprocation for himself and his closest relatives,” E. O. Wilson has argued. “His good behavior is calculating, often in a wholly conscious way, and his maneuvers are orchestrated by the excruciatingly intricate sanctions and demands of society.” Such “soft-core altruism” is characterized by “lying, pretense, and deceit, including self-deceit, because the actor is more convincing who believes that his performance is real.”

BOOKALICIOUS BOOK GRAB GIVEAWAY

Random House Canada has a copy of Karen Armstrong's "12 Steps to a Compassionate Life" to give to one lucky Bookalicious reader who answers the question:

"How do you plan to become a more compassionate person?" or share a story with an example of compassion.

Yummy Rules and Regulations

You must be a Yummy Mummy Club member to win. Click to sign up! It's free and filled with perks. One comment per member. Entries accepted until January 14, 2011. Contest open to Canadian residents only. Winners will be picked using www.random.org.

Good luck!

Relish reading,

Wanda Lynne Young

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