I hate loot bags. I hate making them, I hate when my kids bring them home from a birthday party and I hate when the stuff is thrown out a few days later.
My kids don’t need any more cheap plastic games with pieces that get lost or fall apart the first time they play with them. We have enough super-duper bouncy balls, tattoos, cheap knock-off play dough and themed pencils, notepads and erasers to last a lifetime.
Apparently there’s a whole lotta people with their knickers in a knot about a J. Crew ad.
Earlier in the month a newsletter was sent out to J. Crew subscribers featuring a free shipping promotion. In the newsletter was a picture of J. Crew executive, Jenna Lyons, and her son, laughing and sharing what looks like a very special moment. You know, the moments we moms kind of live for because it helps us forget about the tantrums, the sleep deprivation and the time your kids shaved the cat.
I live in a house surrounded by penises. Peni? Either/or there’s a lotta male hormones going on over here and I am the one lone female. I’m at a disadvantage for a more than a few reasons.
1) I have a vagina and when the kids come bounding into the bathroom, bedroom...or wherever I happen to be partially or fully nude, they are sent into spasms of laughter.
My husband and celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary this past February. In total, we’ve been together for 15 years. I don’t look upon it as a celebration of our wedding day so much as a celebration of making it through 4,382 days together, not including the 2 extra days for leap years, and still loving each other.
Like most families, we have our morning routines. Nothing formal, more like habits that have developed over time. Hugs and kisses, back rubs, whispered jokes. Once the boys are awake, I make myself a coffee and bagel and sit at my desk reading emails.
From my chair I can see them make their way down the stairs. My younger son with his hair mussed and face still puffy with sleep.
My older son follows soon afterward fully dressed in a suit ready to take on the day.
I wasn’t going to write about this because it’s humiliating on so many levels. Humiliating that I’m so fearful. Humiliating that I couldn’t overcome my fear. Humiliating that it’s now affecting my health.
I haven’t been to a dentist in 23 years.
And yes, I realize that if I now meet any of you in person you’ll be staring at my mouth.
My boys are addicted to 'The Cake Boss' and love watching Buddy create cakes that defy gravity (and sometimes don’t). But they especially loved the spin-off series where Buddy had a competition to find a new baker for Carlo’s bakery. Each week Buddy threw new challenges at the ten contestants as they vied for a chance to win $50,000 and work at the famous bakery.
A while back, Lisa a.k.a. Party Mummy, wrote this blog about feeling left out of the party and ten things you should take into consideration before going to any party – whether it’s live and in person or online.
Two things happened to me recently which made me realize one more tip should be added to her list.
It's competitive out there in the world of newsletters. You want people not only to subscribe, but to be interested enough to open them. How many times have you gotten a newsletter you've signed up for only to delete it without even nary a glance.
Thirteen years ago, long before twitter and facebook, and yes I’m *that* old, there were message boards. I worked at a “Big Bucks Megabank, and while I often had work thrown at me from 15 different directions, there was also plenty of downtime. That combined with the fact I was newly engaged and planning a wedding brought me to a wedding planning message board.
The last I wrote about speed skating, I was up in the air as to what to do. I wanted to try it, Son No. 1 was vehemently opposed. Since then we had a little sit down where I explained I wasn’t only “a mom” I was a person too and that he’s inspired me to try something new. Long story short, if I promised not to skate any meets in the first year, he was all for it.
When I first started blogging I made a promise to myself that I would be honest about my successes and my failures.
No Matter How Humiliating.
I was kind of referring to my parenting skills or lack thereof but, you know, life happens. Sooooo…….remember when I wrote about how changing my attitude can change everything?
This is where I now tell you I totally fell off the band wagon.
We don't buy candy or cards for Valentine's Day and instead we give gifts to make the boys feel special -- like these t-shirts. The shirts were inexpensive, super easy to make and the kids loved them.
Another thing I do to make my kids feel special is put a note in their lunches every day. While they typically never say anything about the notes, if I miss putting one in, I hear about it.
My husband and I celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary this weekend. At one point we were out with a group of friends, all of who have been married between 12 and 18 years, and they asked us what the secret was to a happy marriage. Before anyone could say anything, I was all blow jobs! which was followed by laughter and then I was all "why are you laughing? We take our blow jobs very seriously". Then my husband made a not so subtle attempt to change the subject like he was all embarrassed or something.
I need your help internety people, it seems I have a bit of a conundrum.
Last week I wrote about my new found love of speed skating and how I was going to sign up to give it a go. Well it appears that Son No. 1 doesn’t want me to.
It's been freezing cold but that didn't stem my excitement because I had purchased Brand! New! Snow! Boots! that are supposed to keep your toes warm up to -40 degrees! After the disasterous day of sledding where I *may* have fallen face first into the snow because my toes were frozen solid and I couldn't balance, it was time. And nothing says “try your Brand! New! Snow! Boots!" than sitting in a freezing cold arena watching your son speed skate for a couple of hours.
PartyMummy started a meme to learn more about YOU. So it's actually called a YouMe. You can thank her for my YouMe below. And also for not being able to get the title You, Me and Dupree out of your head. Or is that just me.
Without any further ado....it's YouMe. Feel free to join in. There are instructions at the bottom.
So death skating has sort of grown on me. I mean, I’m still worried that Son No. 1 is going to have some sort of horrible fall, smashing into the mats and breaking every bone in his body while razar sharp ginzu knives whiz past him at break neck speed and he’ll become the number hit when you google “freak speed skating accidents”.
Winter is here so for the next few months the kids trudge through the snow, to and from school bundled from head to toe. Boots, snow pants, jackets, mitts and facemasks – they’re barely recognizable. It’s good form to take a peek beneath the mask when you pick them up to ensure you have the right kid. If you’ve accidentally grabbed the wrong one, it’s hard to understand a scarf muffled voice.
