Nov
24
2010

Dear Ric,

In the last installation of Lavwa's Life, I was trying to ruin the family vacation to Hawaii and of course, you were there to save the day once again, basking in all the gloriousness that is you.

Or so we thought.

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Nov
21
2010

Sanity Saving Tips For The Holidays

Stuff Your Stockings On A Budget

Christmas is just around the corner leaving mothers everywhere getting on their game face.  Because on top of the normal every day stuff we do, the stuff that fills our every waking hour and leaves us flopping on the couch in exhaustion at the end of the day, we now have to shop, wrap, craft, decorate, plan, ship, write, mail, list, cook, clean, bake, party and visit. 

The kids may love the holidays, but when you’re a mom, it’s less festive, more stress-tive.

Before you read any further, there are three things you need to know about me:

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I get that it’s easier to walk through a door and not hold it open for the person behind you or to look-through the cashier scanning your groceries instead of seeing her.  I know how good it feels to flip someone the bird when they cut you off or to purposely not let someone merge into your lane just because. 

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Nov
14
2010

My Son The Writer Part 2

I Swear I'm A Nice Person

Last week I wrote about my son embarking on his new career path - author - and how my enthusiasm waned upon discovering the main villain was Tak, the mom who hates kids.  But hey...that's okay... because apparently the family hates her too. Also, it appears she has a penis for a head.  

Let's see what that evil bitch is up to this week shall we?

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Nov
13
2010

A Simple Skincare Routine

All You Need Are These Three Things

It’s been a fun few days for me on the internety world.  Nothing like telling a few thousand of your closest friends you *may* have shit your pants a couple of times to keep you humble.

Good times, good times indeed.

Today I thought I’d step away from my neurotic tendencies - ’cause god only knows, I can write about that shit all day long – and talk about skin care.

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Nov
08
2010

My Son The Writer Part 1

It's Official: I Really Am The Meanest Mother Alive

Son No. 1 decided recently he wanted to write a book.  Of course I was all over it and gave him a little notebook to start on his new career path. 

My excitement has since waned...

In case you can't read it or decipher the spelling mistakes it says:

Meet Mom.  She is incredibly strict and hates children which is strange because she has kids.  The family doesn't like her. The mom's name is Tak.

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Nov
08
2010

My Eating Disorder

Bulimia, Anorexia and A Fear Of Gaining Weight

I don’t know how to begin this so you’ll just have to bear with me while I write through my blocks.  And I’ll warn you now, this will be long.  Very long.  I’ll probably be breaking it up into parts, so grab a coffee or a wine - whatever you want to drink for whatever time of day it is you’re reading this - and get comfy.  Also, you should know I’ve had therapy for all I’m about to write about and I’m okay with doing this.  It took a long time to get to this place, but I’m here. 

And in case I don’t get to it tonight, one of the biggest heroes in this story is my husband.

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Nov
07
2010

We have no video games or hand held electronic games in our house.  Zero.  None. Nadda. Nothing.

Actually, that's not completely true.  We have a little box you can plug into the t.v. to play Pac Man. My kids only source of video game entertainment is a game I played 25 years ago. 

Ya...I’ll just give you a second to let that one sink in.

*whistling, tapping fingers on desk*

Typically when I tell other mother’s this, I get one of two reactions.

Shock and Awe:  How do you survive? 

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Nov
04
2010

I Hate School Field Trips

Eight Reasons Why I Dread Going

I’m just gonna put it out there. 

I HATE school field trips. 

I was going to write I HATE “expletive” field trips but realized I’m so tired from supervising said “expletive” field trip, I couldn’t think of where to put the comma in order to keep you from reading that sentence as me doing some sort of pervy shit to field trips instead just really really not liking them.

It’s the age old Verb vs. Adjective dilemma. 

In no particular order, this is what I hate about field trips:

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