Sharon DeVellis: Inside Scoop


It's Okay To Say No

Seriously. The World Won't Blow Up Or Anything

While at Blissdom Canada last week I had an 'aha' moment. It didn't come from a session or a panel or a key note speaker, it came from a dinner date.

I don't sleep well in hotels. It's a curse.  I get a night or two to myself in a big bed with fluffy pillows and a heavy, warm duvet and I'm up looking at the clock every hour.

1:31 a.m.
2:19 a.m.
3:42 a.m.

It sucks.

So on Friday night I was pretty much exhausted when everyone started to make their dinner plans.  I wanted a bunch of us to go to my room, order pizza and chillax but that was vetoed and it was decided we'd all go out to a restaurant.

Only I didn't want to go out to a restaurant because I was tired. But I said yes anyway.  Because that's what we women do, isn't it?  We say yes even when we want to say no because we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or have someone mad at us. It's no wonder so many of us are burnt out and exhausted. We'll be running on empty and still say yes, even when it means putting our own feelings aside and even our own physical well-being.

Or maybe it's not all women, maybe it's just me.

At any rate, I said yes and inside I was feeling all resentful because I. was. tired.

Then I did the unthinkable.

As I stood there feeling all internally angry and resentful I said to myself 'screw it' and I changed my mind.  I told the group I was tired and would be heading up to my room to relax instead of going out.

Their response?  Okay.

And of course they said okay.  It was dinner, not reconciling world peace. And even if it was reconciling world peace...can't world peace be figured out in a hotel room wih pizza? 

It was a good lesson to learn. We don't always have to put everyone else's feelings ahead of our own.

So whether it's dinner with friends, or being asked to volunteer at school or taking on Just. One. More. Project., the next time you find yourself outwardly saying yes when inside you're silently screaming NO, take a moment and listen to that voice within and remember...

Your feelings are important too.