Twice, my son has choked on food. The first was when he was a wee tot, just turned two. He was walking around the kitchen eating a slice of cantalope and bit off a piece that was too large. I was washing dishes and he was just out of my sightline. I can't even allow myself to think of what would have happened if I hadn't peeked around to see what was going on. There were no sounds - no coughing, no grunts, nothing. Utter silence.
This was one thing I didn't know: Choking is silent. When your child can't breathe he also can't cough or make sounds.
I raced over to him and in a panic smacked his back, forgetting everything I had learned at my St. John's Ambulance course. Luckily it worked.
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The second time, he was five and eating a piece of prosciutto, a delicious but chewy italian, thinly sliced, dry-cured ham. He shoved the slice in his mouth and chewed and chewed, the fatty ham becoming a mass in his mouth, then he swallowed his eyes widening with panic. Instantly I saw what was happening and got it out.
So why am I writing this? Because on Easter morning after we had hunted for eggs and opened presents, my older son told me at breakfast how he had woken up hungry at 4:00 a.m. so he went downstairs and had some grapes.
With images in my head of him choking and dying on our kitchen floor while we all slept above I completely FREAKED OUT ON HIM. "Don't EVER eat in the middle of the night," I yelled.
He sat there shell-shocked, not understanding I wasn't angry, but scared.
A small child's windpipe is the size of a drinking straw. It's not hard to imagine something getting lodged in it, something you may not even think of like the little triangular corner you cut off of the plastic milk bag this morning or a balloon that has popped and was left on the floor. The balloon, a delightful, seemingly innocuous childhood staple is one of the leading causes of asphyxiation in children - both broken and when whole.
There are a kajillion articles on choking hazards but in case you need a refresher...
The top choking hazards for foods are:
Hot dogs
Nuts
Grapes
Popcorn
Raw carrots
Raisins
Celery
Hard or sticky candy, lollipops
Chunks of meat or cheese
Spoonfuls of peanut butter
Other everyday items that are choking hazards:
Latex balloons
Jewellry
Small balls
Buttons
Screws, nails, safety pins and tacks
Coins
Marbles
Small toy parts
Pen or marker caps
Small button-type batteries
Small, compressible toys
Basically, if it can fit through a toilet paper tube, your child could potentially choke on it.
But the biggest way to prevent choking is to be diligent.
Don't leave small objects laying where young ones can get at them.
Don't let your kids eat unsupervised or while walking around.
Do learn CPR so you'll be prepared if it does happen.
And if your children are a bit older, sit down and explain why they should never get up in the middle of the night to eat by themselves.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some new grey hair I need to dye.
I was at Walmart shopping for boring stuff like milk and toilet paper so I decided to detour on over to the cosmetic section which is when I came across these.
They're nail polish strips with different patterns. I just about peed myself when I saw them *claps hands excitedly*. Why yes, I AM a cosmetic marketer's dream client.
I wasn't sure how they'd work (or if they would) so I kept my purchase to a minimum and bought Skinny Jeans and Check It Out. And look! Check it out - denim nails!
It took me about 40 minutes to apply them. On the package it says they last 10 days - I had them on for 15. They actually wore better than regular nail polish which typically chips off my nails in a couple of days. Probably because, you know, I'm doing stuff like cleaning toilets and opening canned drinks, though not at the same time.
Mostly.
They were $8.95 and I'm gonna have the BEST NAILS this summer.
Then yesterday I was out shopping with the boys and look what I came across.
Dudes! It's mood changing nail polish!
Look, we all mostly grew up in the 70's and 80's here. Remember mood rings? Who doesn't love this shit. I found it at Claires, the accessory shop for teens, tweens and 41 year old mothers who still think they're 13. I haven't tried it yet but I'm so excited to have my toes shout to the world Hey, look at me - I'm all confident today or show my inner zen when my peaceful side makes an appearance. It's like my toes can speak. And that's way better than the voices in my head I've started talking back to.
They have mood changing lip gloss too. I didn't buy any because I thought that might be going a bit far. Also, I had run out of money.
And lastly, I'm going to let you in on a little secret I wasn't going to want to share because sometimes I get all selfish like that but then the guilt got the best of me so..... ya. I'm totally going to ruin it for myself but I know you'll appreciate it.
I absolutely LOVE the Ontario Science Centre and so do my kids. But sometimes it gets a bit busy and then I turn into psycho mom because my kids tend to run off even though I tell them about a kajillion times to PLEASE STICK TOGETHER.
But then two years ago, I discovered the perfect time to visit the OSC and I'm going to share it with you today.
You need to go to the science centre the Monday after March Break. BUT, and this is the important part, if you and your kidlings only get one week for the spring break vacay, DON'T go on the Monday after yours ends. You see, there are schools who get two weeks and their parents will still be bringing them. You need to wait until this second week has passed and then go the Monday after that.
Not only is there hardly any regular people there, there are hardly any school groups either.
When I took the kids this past year (and for the record, I was given a one-year gold membership which, holy hannah banana - discounted parking and free IMAX movies totally rocks the kazbah ), there were only five other kids in the KidSpark area. FIVE! Which means they played around for as long as the liked and I was able to keep an eye on both of them even when they went in separate directions.
We also take the boys out of school to visit Canada's Wonderland at least once each June.
Maybe I'll see you there? I'll be the one with the talking toes.
Note: I did get a free membership for the Ontario Science Centre but the nail strips and polish were all stuff I bought for myself because I lack impulse control and love pretty nails.
You know when you have a weird pimple, maybe somewhere in the vicinity of your eyebrow and it won't go away. So in a moment of frustration you decide to squeeze it even though you're fully aware of the dire blemish popping consequences but you just want the damn thing to go away and do it anyway?
So you lean in close to the mirror over your dresser but the lighting is all bad and you can't see anything. Then you spot your little cosmetic mirror, grab that and go sit on your bed in front of the window where lots of light is streaming in allowing you to see everything clear as day. Only now you can't squeeze the pimple because you're holding the mirror with one hand. So you place the mirror facing upwards between your knees and lean forward to squeeze with both hands that are now free.
Ya that.
Seriously. Don't ever do it.
Gravity sucks ass.
You're welcome.
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