PartyMummy started a meme to learn more about YOU. So it's actually called a YouMe. You can thank her for my YouMe below. And also for not being able to get the title You, Me and Dupree out of your head. Or is that just me.
Without any further ado....it's YouMe. Feel free to join in. There are instructions at the bottom.
1. Give a snapshot of your life. Married? Kids? Pets? Career?
Married mom of two boys.
Pets: One cat – Licorice. Two hamsters: Hammy, who is cute and sweet and Satan, who is currently plotting my death. One live goldfish and one dead goldfish I just found in the freezer from six months ago. We couldn’t bury it the day it died and the last thing I wanted to do is explain the rotting process to my son so I “preserved” it then clearly “forgot about” it and then it got buried underneath a pile of freezies. It’s not like we were going to eat it or anything. And it was a Beta which is way too small to eat anyway.
Unless you were going to do an appetizer with it like in some sort of fancy martini glass or something. Then it would have been just right. Also pretty because it's blue.
I need to clean out my freezer more often. Also…if you’ve been invited to my house for dinner, just forget this question.
There are no dead fish in my freezer.
Or hamsters.
Career: *Not* killing hamsters.
2. If you could be any nationality other than your own, what would it be?
Avatar-ian. See blue is pretty above.
3. Where’s your best thinking place?
In bed at night. My husband will say the bathroom, but he’s lying.
The bathroom.
4. Name one thing you know you should want to give up, but can’t.
Hamsters.
I've tried.
5. Describe one thing that makes you so angry you could spit nails?
Psycho sports parents. Dudes…get over it. You had your chance to be a star. Now let your kids play and have fun and shut the hell up.
Also? All that screaming you’re doing? The kids can’t actually hear you. Go ahead ask them.
6. What’s one meal you tend to make over and over again? (Because it’s tasty or just plain fast and easy). If you’re so inclined, paste in or link to the recipe.
967-1111
7. When is the last time you fell down?
Well now I’m a little bit afraid to answer this question because Lisa answered it and then within an hour, she had a huge fall in front of a school yard of parents. It’s like The Ring. Only with the chance of winning $10,000 on Funniest Home Videos instead of a woman crawling out of the t.v.
My phone just rang.
Fuck.
8. What’s something your partner does that drives you crazy?
Absolutely nothing. He’s perfect.
Hi Hon! I totally paid the Visa bill on time this month! *waves* You don’t have to read anything else. Just go on to the next question. Love you!
Chews chips loudly.
9. What scares you more a) public speaking b) bungee jumping c) horror flicks?
Did you know if you only used initials for those choices, Bungee Jumping becomes BJ? Because I think you did. And I think you didn’t think anyone would ever break the secret BJ code. And that’s like totally rude. BJ’s are a private affair between a husband and wife and the person in the bathroom stall next to us.
I don’t even want to know what the HF stands for.
Perv.
10. Name one new thing you’d like to try before you die.
Not dying.
11. Tell about a time when you had your heart broken.
It was awful, I’ll never forget it. The middle of winter, about -30 degrees and it just shut down. No noise, no nothing. At first it wasn’t noticeable but as the day went on, you could feel how chilly it was getting. It took 48 hours for the furnace guy to show up. Seriously? 48 hours in the middle of winter? That kind of shit should be illegal.
Sigh
Oh wait…you said heart.
12. It’s not considered bragging when somebody asks you to tell about something cool you’ve done. So spill.
I did. All over my fucking keyboard.
Way to go Lisa.
13. What’s the best thing you’ve ever made?
A grown man cry using only two words. I do.
14. Fill in the blanks:
a) Over the years I’ve become more crazy and less sane.
b) I wish I was more crazier and less sanier
How do you turn this meme into a youme?
Cut and paste these questions into your own blog (don’t have a blog? That’s ok, you can play on Facebook too!). Delete my answers and add yours. Invite your friends and readers to join in. Be sure to leave the link to your answers in the comment section below so we know where to go to read all about YOU.
So death skating has sort of grown on me. I mean, I’m still worried that Son No. 1 is going to have some sort of horrible fall, smashing into the mats and breaking every bone in his body while razar sharp ginzu knives whiz past him at break neck speed and he’ll become the number hit when you google “freak speed skating accidents”.
But, you know, other than that.
Son No. 1 had his first speed skating meet which is where my new found love of the sport began. Watching it on t.v. is one thing, seeing it in person? The speed with which they skate and how close they are together and the power and the excitement of the races.... and did I mention the speed?
It kinda blows my mind.
But what I love most about speed skating is that gender, age, or even how you’re built physically don’t really matter. They have boys skating against girls, the very tall vs. the petite and even though you think to yourself “that little girl out there doesn’t stand a chance” she’ll go and rock the race.
Speed skating is about technique and strategy. Sure you have to be in shape but ultimately, it's technique and strategy that wins. That and not falling.
By the end of the day, I was all “I want to try this shit”. And my husband, surprisingly, was “I could see you doing it”. So I was really really excited until one of the moms at the meet mentioned they teach speed skating to adults but you're grouped according to skill level. Which means, quite possibly, I would be grouped together with a bunch of seven year olds. Visions of Kramer taking karate lessons flitted about my head.
Luckily, the mom was misinformed. Not only do they teach adults and keep them grouped together with adults, the President of the speed skating association told me there were “four or five moms my age who joined this year” and I was all “twenty nine year old women rock, don’t they”.
I was left with just one last hurdle – Son No. 1. I approached him and asked how he would feel if I joined speed skating and he said it would be totally embarrassing to have to skate against his mom. I was all "Dude, I'd be doing it on a different night than you. You wouldn't even see me". This, apparently, was a selling point for him.
So I'm going to give it a go. The President told me I could come out one night, strap on a pair of skates and try it out - if I like it, I'll sign up for classes next year.
And if they do group me according to skill level? I’m just saying….those kids better watch the fuck out.
Winter is here so for the next few months the kids trudge through the snow, to and from school bundled from head to toe. Boots, snow pants, jackets, mitts and facemasks – they’re barely recognizable. It’s good form to take a peek beneath the mask when you pick them up to ensure you have the right kid. If you’ve accidentally grabbed the wrong one, it’s hard to understand a scarf muffled voice.
Thursday I picked up the kids from school and as we were walking home talking about the day, I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the hairs peeking out from under Son No. 1’s face mask.
“Dude.....did you cut your hair today at school?” I asked.
“Ya......why?” he replied.
I burst into laughter as I stared at the short choppy pieces escaping the mask - there was a shy smile on his face mixed with a look of relief. He wasn't in trouble. We continued to walk the rest of the way home, me casting surreptitious glances over at the hairs every once in awhile, him smiling back.
We got home and the mask was pulled off to reveal his new “do”. The laughter erupted from my mouth before I could even stop it, tears streaming down my face, gasping for breath.
I managed to squeak out “Buddy....why did you cut your hair?” between my guffaws of laughter.
"Well...." he replied. "We were watching movies this afternoon and it just felt soft of......long. So I thought I’d cut it."
I brought him to the kitchen where I attempted to clean it up until we could get him to the hairdresser, bursting into giggles whenever I looked at his bangs. As I wrapped a tea towel around his neck and started cutting he said to me....
The thing is mom, you told me last week you’d take me for a haircut because I don’t like it long.
The smile dropped from my face, the laughter stopped dead in its tracks. I was left feeling more than a little shameful.
I had promised to take him and once again his needs had gotten lost in the shuffle. Other things took precidence - the errands, the speed skating meet, my work, making dinner....and to be honest, the one day when I had made time for the haircut, Son No. 2 was in an unbearably awful tantrumy mood, so I decided to just stay home instead.
So, Son No. 1, in a dark classroom while watching a movie, decided to take it upon himself to give himself a haircut befitting his suits.
It was a Mom Fail at its finest. Or more accurately, worst.
I would never forget to arrange a hair appointment for myself. And yet, I put it off for him without even thinking about how he would feel. I got caught up in day to day “things” and put his needs aside.
I’m writing this not to berate myself but as a reminder that even if it doesn’t seem important me, even if it’s something that would go on the bottom of my to-do list, it may be on the top of theirs.
I’m bringing him for a proper haircut today.
Printer-friendly version