My thighs are too big.
I wish I had better skin.
I’d look good if it wasn’t for this muffin top.
I don’t want to go out tonight, I feel fat.
Ugh, these bags under my eyes make me look 70.
Are you guilty of saying something like this to yourself?
We’re our own worst enemies, aren’t we? If anyone ever said something like this to our kids or one of our friends, we’d go all, “It’s on like Donkey Kong” on them. Yet, we have no problem saying these things to ourselves. Every. Single. Day.
I remember this one time my friend Lisa told me she wished she had the colour of my eyes in her head. All I could think was how puffy my eyes were. So, instead of saying thank you, I made some stupid joke.
I bet you sometimes do that too, don’t you? You brush off compliments or make a self-deprecating remark instead of simply saying thank you. It’s actually my superhero power. I may not be able to fly faster than a speeding bullet or jump over buildings in a single bound, but I can deflect any compliment given to me within a 100 mile radius.
A few years ago I started wearing a bikini again. It’s ironic because the last time I wore a bikini was 20 years and 20 pounds ago. Yet, I now have more confidence walking around in that bikini with my muffin-top and cellulitey thighs than I did back then when I had a 24 inch waist.
Bent over I can see my stomach hanging downwards. Shits given: Zero
So what changed?
I stopped focusing on how my body looked and focused on what it could do. Those cellulitey thighs? They've supported me for a very long time. The bum I thought was too large? That bum can pound out 63 squats in 60 seconds. My muffin-top? Pretty sure it makes me more buoyant when I swim.
My friends would tell me I looked great, but I would never believe them.
They were just saying it to be nice.
They don't want me to feel bad.
But they weren't lying to make me feel good, just like I'm not lying when I tell you that you look great.
What I needed was to be able to see myself through their eyes using my own eyes. We all need to do this.
The fact that we’re even alive is nothing short of amazing. Think about it. We live on a planet in a galaxy that is so large we will never find an end to it. This little planet happened to be the just-right distance away from the warmth of a star to create the perfect conditions to grow life. And as far as we know, we are the only planet with life on it.
The only one!
And we’re worried about thigh gap.
I have beautiful friends. I bet you do too.
And yet, every single one of those friends has bemoaned some aspect of his or her appearance at one time or another. Yet I don’t see what they see, because to me they are all beautiful, perfect in their own individual way.
If I had one wish for my friends—and for you—it’s for one brief moment you were able to see yourself through my eyes.
Because you’re so much better than you think you are.