You might expect her expertise when it comes to needlepoint or canning preserves. But one young woman received a whole other kind of unsolicited advice from grandma -- sex tips!
When Alison Denisco went off to college, her 86-year-old gran
penned her a letter to remember. The numbered missive from one 'who has been there' and done that.
Highlights includes notes on finding a soulmate, "the highest form of love — it is a religious feeling" (#2) and making sure your man washes his penis before coming to bed (#4).
The letter, which reads as if it's straight out of the pages of Cosmopolitan, stresses that a woman should "never, never do ANAL sex" or swallow semen in order to avoid diseases (#6).
Foreplay may be necessary "to get the girl ready" but Grandma advises that as you get older, you can "skip all that" and be done with in 7 minutes (#8)!
To conclude, Grandma Carmela shares more pearls of wisdom in the hopes that her granddaughter won't make mistakes of marrying someone abusive or unsuitable. "When there are children," she says, "you are never divorced. The ex-husband will be in your life forever, so make sure you marry the right guy."
She also advises her granddaughter to stay mum when it comes to her personal finances, and to never put out just because a man bought you dinner. "You are not a homeless person who needs a meal." (#13)
Pretty modern advice for a member of another generation.
Has Grandma Carmela pretty much nailed it? Anything you'd add? Share your tips and kernels of wisdom.